Tag Archives: Trauma Informed Care

It’s more common than you think — and it can catch anyone off guard

You ever had someone hit you with something really personal, totally out of the blue?

Like, you’re in the middle of a normal conversation — maybe talking about what you did over the weekend — and suddenly they’re unloading something heavy. Proper heavy. It leaves you stunned, not sure what to say. You want to be kind, but you didn’t sign up for this chat, not right now anyway.

That right there? That’s what people are calling trauma dumping.

It’s Not Just Venting

Don’t get this wrong — talking about what’s going on for us is important. It helps. Everyone needs to offload now and then. That’s totally normal.

But trauma dumping is different. It’s when someone shares something big — something emotionally intense — but they don’t check in first. No warning. No “hey, can I share something with you?” Just straight into it.

And the thing is, it’s usually not mean-spirited. It’s often coming from a place of pain or overwhelm. But even so, it can feel like being dragged into someone else’s storm when you were just out for a walk.

How It Shows Up

There’s no one way it looks, but here are a few you might recognise:

A mate sends you a massive message in the middle of the night, laying everything out without checking in.

A colleague somehow manages to turn every lunch break into a deep emotional download.

Someone you’ve just met starts talking about really traumatic experiences, and you weren’t expecting it at all.

They probably don’t mean to make things uncomfortable. They just need to talk. But if the other person isn’t ready or in the right headspace, it can be a lot. Too much, even.

Why It Can Be a Problem — Especially at Work

Let’s be real — most of us are already carrying a fair bit. Workplaces can be stressful enough as it is.

So when emotional boundaries get crossed — even with good intentions — it can wear people down. It can create tension in teams. It can make people uncomfortable, unsure how to respond, or simply not want to engage anymore.

This kind of sharing:

• Can leave others feeling drained or helpless
• Might blur professional lines
• Often doesn’t help the sharer feel any better in the long run
• Can stop people from seeking proper support, because they’re offloading in the wrong spaces

That’s why things like mental health training and trauma-informed practices are so important in workplaces now. It’s not about shutting people down. It’s about having the tools to navigate these moments safely — for everyone involved.

A Better Way to Share

So no — the answer isn’t “don’t talk about stuff.” Not at all. The answer is being mindful about how we share, and when.

A simple check-in makes a huge difference:

“Hey, I’ve got something a bit full-on I’d like to talk about. Are you in a space for that?”

That one sentence shows respect. It gives the other person a chance to say yes, no, or maybe later. That’s how you keep trust strong — even when talking about tough things.

If You’ve Done It Before — It’s Okay

Most people have. Especially in moments when we’re overwhelmed and don’t know who else to turn to. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re human.

What matters is what we learn from those moments — and how we do things differently next time.

If you’ve been on the receiving end, you’re allowed to say something too:

“Hey, I really care, but I’m not sure I’ve got the capacity to hold this right now.”

That’s not cold. That’s honest. And that’s healthy.

Final Thought

We talk a lot about being open and honest — and that’s good. But no one really teaches us how to do that well. Not at home. Not at work. Not growing up.

So we’re all learning. All of us.

When we get it right — when there’s trust, timing, and care — sharing can be one of the most powerful things we do. It brings people closer. It builds connection. It heals.

Let’s just remember… not everything needs to be shared all at once. And not with everyone.