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rise of quite quitting

The Rise of ‘Quiet Quitting’ and What It Reveals About Workplace Mental Health

25/06/2025

Back in the day, I found myself sitting at my desk, staring at my computer screen, feeling completely drained. I had been working late nights, skipping lunches, and saying “yes” to every request that came my way. On the surface, I was the model employee—reliable, hardworking, and always available. But inside, I was exhausted, disengaged, and quietly counting down the hours until I could log off. I wasn’t alone in this feeling, though I didn’t realise it at the time. What I was experiencing was an early version of what we now call “quiet quitting.”

For those who haven’t heard the term, quiet quitting doesn’t actually mean quitting your job. It’s about doing the bare minimum required by your role—no more going above and beyond, no more hustling for recognition, no more sacrificing personal time for work. It’s a subtle but powerful shift in how people approach their jobs, and it’s become a hot topic in conversations about workplace culture and mental health.

What’s Driving the Trend?

Quiet quitting isn’t just about laziness or disengagement. It’s often a response to burnout, lack of recognition, or the feeling that no matter how hard you work, it’s never enough. According to a 2022 Gallup survey*, only 21% of employees worldwide feel engaged at work, and 44% report experiencing high levels of stress. When people feel undervalued or overworked, they naturally pull back to protect their mental health.

rise of quite quitting

Research also shows that the pandemic played a significant role in this shift. A study published in the Harvard Business Review (2021)* found that remote work blurred the boundaries between professional and personal life, leading to increased burnout. Many employees realized they were sacrificing too much for their jobs and decided to set firmer boundaries.

The Mental Health Connection

Quiet quitting is, at its core, a coping mechanism. It’s a way for employees to reclaim some sense of control over their lives. But it also highlights a deeper issue: workplaces aren’t doing enough to support mental health.

A report by the World Health Organization (WHO) in 2022* revealed that depression and anxiety cost the global economy an estimated $1 trillion per year in lost productivity. Yet, many companies still treat mental health as a secondary concern. Employees are expected to push through stress, exhaustion, and even burnout without adequate support.

This lack of support can have serious consequences. A study by the American Psychological Association (APA)* found that chronic stress at work is linked to a host of health problems, including heart disease, depression, and weakened immune function. When employees feel unsupported, they’re more likely to disengage—or quietly quit.

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What Can Employers Do?

The rise of quiet quitting is a wake-up call for employers. It’s a sign that the old ways of working—long hours, constant availability, and a “hustle at all costs” mentality—are no longer sustainable. To address this, companies need to prioritize mental health and create a culture where employees feel valued and supported.

Here are a few steps employers can take:

Normalize Boundaries: Encourage employees to take regular breaks and disconnect after work hours if they need it.

Recognize Efforts: Acknowledge the work your employees do. Let them know what good performance looks like and praise them for it.

Set a Clear Vision: Ensure all employees understand the company’s goals and how their work fits into achieving them.

Provide Mental Health Resources: Offer counseling, stress management programs, and resilience training to help employees manage their mental health.

Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space where employees can express their concerns without fear of judgment or retaliation.

A Shift in Perspective

Quiet quitting isn’t just a trend—it’s a reflection of how work culture is evolving. Employees are no longer willing to sacrifice their well-being for the sake of their jobs. They’re demanding a healthier, more meaningful approach to work, and employers need to listen.

For me, that moment of staring at my computer screen was a turning point. I realized I needed to set clear goals, boundaries and prioritize my mental health. It wasn’t easy, but it made a world of difference. And while I’m no longer quietly quitting, I understand why so many people are.

The conversation around quiet quitting isn’t just about work—it’s about how we value ourselves and our time. It’s a reminder that we’re human beings, not machines, and that our well-being matters.

What are your thoughts on quiet quitting? Have you experienced it or seen it in your workplace? Let’s start a conversation.

At WMHI, we’re committed to supporting workplace mental health through our training solutions. Our programs are designed to help employees thrive by equipping them with the tools to manage stress, build resilience, and foster a healthier work-life balance. Because when employees feel supported, everyone benefits.

References:

Gallup (2022). State of the Global Workplace Report.
Harvard Business Review (2021). How the Pandemic Has Changed Workers’ Attitudes.
World Health Organization (2022). Mental Health in the Workplace.
American Psychological Association (APA). Stress in the Workplace.

worklife may 2025

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trauma care in australia

Building a Trauma-Informed Workplace: A Practical Guide for Australian Organisations

04/06/2025

Mental health is no longer a peripheral concern in modern workplaces. Progressive Australian organisations now recognise that trauma-informed practices aren’t just about compliance – they’re fundamental to fostering resilient, high-performing teams.

The Business Case for Trauma-Informed Workplaces

World Health Organisation research demonstrates a compelling return on investment: for every $1 allocated to mental health support, businesses see a $4 return through improved productivity and reduced absenteeism. Beyond ethical imperatives, these practices deliver measurable organisational benefits.

Core Elements of a Trauma-Informed Workplace

trauma care in australia

1. Comprehensive Safety: Physical and Psychological

A truly safe work environment addresses both tangible and emotional wellbeing.
A. Physical Safety Fundamentals
• Maintain clearly communicated emergency procedures (evacuation plans, first aid protocols)
• Ensure ergonomic workspaces compliant with Safe Work Australia standards
• Provide appropriate safety equipment and regular training
B. Psychological Safety Essentials
• Cultivate an environment where staff feel comfortable raising concerns or ideas without fear of negative consequences
• Leaders should model active listening, empathy and constructive responses
• Encourage open dialogue about workloads and challenges

Organisational Benefits
→ Enhanced productivity through reduced workplace stress
→ Improved staff retention and engagement
→ Stronger innovation and problem-solving capabilities

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2. Meaningful Transparency

With 76% of employees reporting higher job satisfaction in transparent organisations, clear communication is a critical success factor.

Best Practice Approaches
• Articulate the rationale behind significant decisions affecting staff
• Provide advance notice and consultation periods for major changes
• Offer regular updates on company performance and strategic direction

Implementation Methods

  • Structured frameworks like RACI matrices for decision clarity
  • Regular leadership forums or Q&A sessions
  • Transparent communication about both successes and challenges

Measurable Outcomes
→ Increased employee trust in leadership
→ Reduced turnover and disengagement
→ Stronger alignment with organisational objectives

3. Effective Peer Support Systems

Research confirms that robust peer networks deliver significant benefits:
• 24% higher retention rates
• 37% increase in employee engagement
• 41% reduction in stress-related absenteeism

Practical Implementation Strategies
• Structured mentorship programs for new and transitioning employees
• Peer recognition initiatives to reinforce positive contributions
• Facilitated discussion spaces for sharing challenges and solutions
• Cross-functional problem-solving groups

Why These Approaches Work

  • Colleagues often provide uniquely relatable support
  • Peer learning accelerates competency development
  • Strong interpersonal connections improve workplace morale

The Strategic Advantage

Developing trauma-informed practices represents more than policy compliance – it’s an investment in organisational capability. By prioritising safety, transparency and support, businesses cultivate environments where employees can perform at their best.

Next Steps for Australian Organisations

  1. Conduct a workplace assessment to identify improvement areas
  2. Implement targeted initiatives with measurable outcomes
  3. Foster ongoing dialogue to refine approaches
Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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10 strategies to boost yout team mental health

10 Strategies to Boost Your Team’s Mental Health in 2025

28/05/2025

A friend of mine recently shared a story about their workplace transformation. He worked in a demanding industry, where stress was part of the daily routine. However, after their company introduced a series of mental health initiatives, including comprehensive mental health training, the atmosphere shifted.

Employees felt heard and supported, leading to increased productivity and overall happiness. This experience underscores the critical role of mental health in fostering a thriving workplace.

“Our workplace transformed after attending the WMHI’s training. Employees felt heard and supported, leading to improved morale and productivity. Prioritising mental health made a lasting positive impact on our culture—these training sessions are essential for any organisation.”

As we move through 2025, mental health should be a top priority for organisations. Here are ten ways to improve mental health in your workplace:

  1. Implement Mental Health Training

Mental health training is the cornerstone of building an informed and supportive workplace. At the Workplace Mental Health Institute, our programs empower managers and employees to recognise the signs of mental health challenges and respond with confidence and care. By taking a proactive approach, we enable early intervention and cultivate a workplace culture that truly prioritises the well-being of its people.

How To:

  • Training should offer practical advice on creating a positive workplace.
  • Encourage an open and stigma-free culture where getting help is the norm.
10 strategies to boost yout team mental health

  1. Promote Open Conversations

A workplace culture that encourages open dialogue about mental health can break down stigma. This openness can lead to a more connected and understanding workforce. BUT, there is such a thing as talking too much about it and making it worse! So beware.

How To:

  • Establish a work culture in which mental health discussions are encouraged but not required.
  • Train managers to handle such discussions with tact and empathy.
  • Strike a balance—talking about mental health should be helpful and not taxing.

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  1. Flexible Working Arrangements

The traditional 9-to-5 work model is evolving. Flexibility acknowledges the diverse needs of employees and supports their mental health.

How To:

  • Offer flexible work arrangements such as teleworking, variable schedules, or compressed workweeks.
  • Focus on outcomes rather than strict schedules.
  • Trust the staff to manage their time in a way that will be productive and well-balanced.

  1. Create a Wellness Program

A comprehensive wellness program goes beyond physical health.  A robust wellness program equips employees with tools to manage their mental health proactively and include mindfulness sessions, resilience workshops, and stress management training.

How To:

  • Incorporate activities like mindfulness exercises, guided meditation, or well-being challenges.
  • Encourage participation through engaging and inclusive programs.
  • Gather input from employees to keep initiatives relevant and effective.

  1. Provide Access to Resources

Ensure employees have access to mental health resources such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), counseling services, or mental health apps.

How To:

  • Work with mental health professionals to offer confidential counseling services.
  • Share information about available resources regularly, so employees know where to turn when they need help.
  • Normalise using these resources from the top down—if leadership participates, others will follow.

  1. Encourage Breaks

Encouraging regular breaks is crucial for maintaining mental health. Short, frequent breaks can help employees recharge and refocus, preventing burnout.

How To:

  • Integrate breaks into the work culture in the form of a walk, stretching exercises, or simply taking a break from the screens.
  • Establish areas where employees can take breaks and relax.
  • Set the example—when managers take breaks, employees will be comfortable doing the same.

Are you a psychologically safe manager? Take the self assessment to find out.

  1. Recognise and Reward Efforts

Recognition goes a long way in boosting morale and reducing stress. Feeling valued can significantly impact an employee’s mental well-being.

How To:

  • Express thanks through verbal compliments, handwritten thank-you notes, or team recognition.
  • Celebrate wins—small or significant—so employees understand that what they do counts.
  • Customise the recognition to personal preferences; maybe they would love public recognition or just a personal thank you.

  1. Foster a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment involves establishing policies and practices that prioritise mental health.

How To:

  • Develop clear expectations that support work-life balance.
  • Empower managers with the tools to facilitate effective support to teams.
  • Address workplace challenges with an emphasis on well-being instead of just productivity.

  1. Offer Professional Development

Professional growth opportunities contribute to employee satisfaction and mental well-being. Offer training, workshops, and courses that not only advance careers but also include components on managing stress and building resilience.

How To:

  • Invest in employee learning opportunities to allow employees to grow professionally and personally.
  • Encourage peer learning and mentoring to promote a sense of belonging.
  • Keep development accessible—learning shouldn’t add stress, it should inspire growth.

  1. Regularly Assess Workplace Wellbeing

Continual assessment of workplace well-being ensures that mental health strategies remain effective and relevant.

How To:

  • Communicate with staff through surveys or one-on-one conversations.
  • Pay attention to workplace trends—burnout, absenteeism, or disengagement may be a sign that change is in order.
  • Adjust approaches according to actual feedback, not on the assumption of what works.

Applying the above ten tips will go a long way into turning your workplace into a place where people and productivity thrive.

PS. At WMHI, we specialise in creating customised mental health training programs that address the unique needs of each workplace. Our expert team is dedicated to helping your organisation build a thriving, supportive environment. Contact us today to learn more about how we can partner with you to prioritise mental health and achieve lasting positive change.

worklife may 2025

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social media addiction

Is Social Media Fuelling a Youth Mental Health Crisis?

19/03/2024

Digital interactions have become central to our daily lives, especially for the younger generations. The pervasive use of social media among teenagers has led to growing concern about its impact on their mental health. Now, school boards, municipalities and parents across the country are taking social media companies to court in an effort to curb their influence on young minds. New York City is the latest to mount an offensive against social media, prompting many to question how these platforms affect our well-being.

Taking Social Media to Court

New York City announced a major move against social media companies in February, filing a lawsuit against TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and YouTube.

social media addiction

The lawsuit claims these platforms harm the mental health of young people, costing the city $100 million yearly for related health services. It has accused the companies of knowingly creating addictive platforms that cause serious damage to users.

This lawsuit coincides with heightened attention from media and lawmakers regarding the platforms’ impact on teenagers’ mental health and self-image. The city’s legal step is part of a broader push to make these companies responsible, calling to mind previous campaigns against other public health challenges with tobacco and guns.

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New York City is not the only entity taking social media to court. Dozens of states and hundreds of school boards across the country have filed cases, starting with Seattle over a year ago. They affirm that social media companies are knowingly fuelling a mental health crisis among youth with their intentionally addictive platform designs. Hundreds of parents are joining them in filing lawsuits for harm caused to their children.

The U.S. Surgeon General published guidance last year warning of the serious risks social media poses to kids and teens, calling for more research and action from both lawmakers and tech firms. The message is clear: we must make the digital world safer for our young people. But it’s also important to equip our children with the mental resilience needed to navigate the digital world safely.

Looking at the Bigger Picture

It is obviously time for us as a society to take a deeper look at how social media impacts our mental health. Given how much time the average teen spends using these platforms (4.8 hours a day) — not to mention the average adult (2.5 hours a day) — it is important to understand the effects they can have on our well-being.

Social media giant Meta has been accused of using algorithms intentionally crafted to tap into the dopamine-driven reward systems of young users, based on documents leaked by a whistleblower in 2021. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter linked to pleasure and reward, which plays a crucial role in addiction. The design of these platforms allegedly exploits this biological mechanism, encouraging continual engagement by triggering these pleasure signals.

The dangers of such addictive designs have been linked to tragic consequences for teens, including a higher incidence of negative body image, low self-esteem, eating disorders, and suicide. Investigations into the suicide of a 14-year-old in the UK indicated that overexposure to social media content likely worsened her pre-existing depression. However, social media companies have denied responsibility, insisting that their products follow rigorous safety protocols.

Scientific research into social media’s influence has found both positive and negative effects on those who use the platforms regularly. Some highlight the beneficial aspects, such as social connections, peer support, and open discussion which can enhance mental well-being and foster a sense of belonging. However, other studies have found a correlation between heavy social media use and increased feelings of loneliness, decreased life satisfaction, and heightened anxiety.

The bigger picture indicates that while social media can be a positive source of social support, it’s important to be aware of its downsides, especially with overuse. Teaching young people about these risks and about how to use social media wisely is crucial to building a healthier, more positive online life.

Empowering Our Youth

What can we do to start empowering young people to take control of their mental health today? We don’t need to wait for new laws to be passed to begin improving our social media habits. Educating ourselves about safe online practices, discussing our online experiences, and encouraging open conversations about social media’s impact can empower users to navigate these platforms more wisely.

By creating an environment where mental health topics are openly discussed, we can destigmatize mental health issues and encourage young people to seek help when needed. These discussions can take place in various settings, from schools and homes to online communities, making it clear that it’s okay to talk about mental health struggles and seek support. Open dialogue can lead to greater empathy and community support, which are vital in building a supportive network for anyone facing mental health challenges.

In addition to promoting open conversations, building mental resilience is key to empowering young people to overcome difficult experiences. This involves teaching coping skills, such as stress management techniques, problem-solving, and emotional regulation, which can help them adapt to adversity and bounce back from difficult situations.

Encouraging healthy habits like regular physical activity, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can also strengthen mental resilience. If young people are equipped with the right tools and support, they can build their ability to navigate through tough times with strength and confidence. These are skills that will serve them throughout the rest of their lives.

Strategies for Parents: Building Mental Resilience and Healthy Online Habits

  • Limit time on social media to avoid overexposure and addictive behavior
  • Educate kids about the risks of social media and how the platforms are designed to keep them coming back for more
  • Start a conversation with your teenager about what kind of interactions they have on social media and how these make them feel
  • Discuss the lawsuits against social media with your teen and encourage them to think about different points of view on the issue
  • Promote a positive mindset in the face of negative experiences: “It’s ok, I don’t need that person in my life!” or “This hurts now, but I’ll get over it!”
  • Encourage teens to question what they’re seeing on social media
  • Take an active role in teaching your kids about mental health and healthy routines like sleep, exercise and diet
  • Find positive uses for social media — encourage teens to give supportive comments and share inspiring stories

In Conclusion

The recent lawsuits against social media platforms are groundbreaking, urging us to seriously consider the influence these platforms have on young people’s mental health. They challenge us to rethink our engagement with social media and demand meaningful changes from those who manage these platforms.

At the same time, these events underscore the need to actively build mental resilience and healthy habits that can counteract negative influences in our lives. Everyone has a role in shaping a future where social media supports rather than harms our mental health. Let’s seize this chance to advocate for a digital world that fosters positive connections and promotes mental well-being.

Gwyneth Chew

WMHI Wellbeing Correspondent

 

SOURCES

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/02/14/tech/new-york-city-sues-social-media-platforms-youth-mental-health/index.html

https://www.reuters.com/legal/judge-says-social-media-companies-must-face-lawsuits-over-harm-children-2023-11-14/

https://www.reuters.com/legal/dozens-us-states-sue-meta-platforms-harming-mental-health-young-people-2023-10-24/

https://www.edweek.org/policy-politics/school-district-lawsuits-against-social-media-companies-are-piling-up/2024/01

https://edition.cnn.com/2023/05/23/health/social-media-kids-surgeon-general-advisory-wellness/index.html

https://news.gallup.com/poll/512576/teens-spend-average-hours-social-media-per-day.aspx

https://datareportal.com/reports/digital-2024-deep-dive-the-time-we-spend-on-social-media

https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-023-01243-x

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9915628/

understanding personality disorders

Unveiling Narcissism: Understanding the Personality Disorder that can Destroy Your Relationships

05/04/2023

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated opinion of one’s importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a constant need for admiration and attention.

People with narcissistic personality disorder often have trouble forming strong connections with others and might engage in harmful behaviors to keep their sense of superiority over others. We’ll talk about what narcissism is, how it affects relationships, and how to spot narcissistic traits in people.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is classified as personality disorder and characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for other people. People with narcissistic personality disorder frequently exaggerate their sense of importance and may think they deserve special attention because they are special or unique. They may constantly crave praise and attention and use coercive or exploitative tactics to get what they want from others.

understanding personality disorders

Narcissistic traits can be acquired, especially if a person is raised in a setting where they are regularly complimented and celebrated for their accomplishments and where their needs and wants are constantly put before those of others. However, it’s crucial to keep in mind that not everyone who grows up in such environments will exhibit narcissistic traits. A number of other variables, such as genetics, brain chemistry, and early experiences, can contribute to the development of narcissism.

Is Narcissism Real Or Just People Being Spoilt, Entitled Or Just Plain Evil?

Narcissism is not only real but it is also a diagnosable personality disorder that is recognized by mental health professionals. While it is true that some individuals who exhibit narcissistic behaviors may be spoiled or entitled, it is crucial to recognize that narcissism is a complex and multifaceted condition that extends beyond simply being self-centered or entitled.

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People with narcissistic personality disorder often have an excessive sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for how others feel, and an insatiable need for admiration and attention. They may be manipulative or use others for their own gain, and usually have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships. These habits can cause significant damage to both the narcissist and the people around them.

While it can be tempting to label the narcissist as “evil” or morally corrupt, it’s important to remember that these are also people deserving our compassion and that these narcissistic behaviors are often indicative of deep-seated psychological and emotional issues. With the appropriate treatment and support, people with narcissistic personality disorder can change their behaviors and form stronger relationships.

How Narcissism Impacts Relationships

Narcissism has a significant negative impact on relationships. Individuals with narcissistic disorder may find it difficulty to form healthy, long lasting, relationships because they are obsessed with themselves and their own needs. They may not be able to show empathize or understand how others are feeling, which can lead to conflict and problems with others. They may also tend to manipulate or take advantage of others for their own gain, which can be very damaging to relationships.

Check our online course Psychological Self Defense and learn how to stop psychopaths, narcissists and expert manipulators from hurting you.

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In romantic relationships, narcissists may be excessively critical of their partner, dismissive of his or her needs, and unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions. When their partner does not meet their expectations or requirements, they may also be quick to anger or display aggression.

People with narcissistic tendencies may be extremely competitive in friendships, always attempting to be the center of attention and coming out on top. They may also be extremely critical of their friends and averse to offer assistance or compassion when their friends are in need.They may be highly ambitious and motivated in the workplace, but they may also be highly critical of their coworkers and averse to collaborate with others. In order to advance their own careers at the expense of others, they may also engage in manipulative or exploitative behavior.

Identifying Narcissistic Tendencies

If you think you or someone you know may have narcissistic tendencies, there are several signs to look out for. These include:

  • An exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • A lack of empathy for others
  • A need for constant admiration and attention
  • A tendency to manipulate or exploit others

But let us delve into these traits in a little more detail.

  1. Exaggerated sense of self-importance: Narcissistic individuals frequently have an exaggerated sense of their own significance and competence. They might consider themselves special, singular, or deserving of special care, and they might anticipate approval from others. This may result in a lack of humility and a refusal to take into account the opinions or requirements of others.
  1. Lack of empathy for others: The capacity for empathy is the capacity to make sense of and experience other people’s emotions. Narcissistic individuals may find it difficult to empathize with others, concentrating only on their own needs and wants. They might be indifferent to other people’s feelings, intolerant of their concerns, and unable to understand their motivations.
  1. Need for constant admiration and attention: Narcissistic people yearn for praise and adoration from others. In social settings, they might go to great lengths to be the center of attention and actively seek compliments and praise from others to boost their self-esteem. They may become irate or upset when they do not receive the amount of admiration or attention they believe they deserve.
  1. Tendency to manipulate or exploit others: Individuals with narcissistic tendencies may employ tactics of manipulation and exploitation in order to achieve their desired outcomes from others. They may exploit others for personal benefit, without considering their emotional or physical welfare. Individuals may exhibit a willingness to engage in deceptive or dishonest behavior as a means of attaining their objectives.

Both the person with narcissistic tendencies and those around them may be significantly harmed by these traits. While it’s essential to keep in mind that not everyone who exhibits some of these traits is a narcissist, you should be wary if you see a pattern of these behaviors repeated in someone’s behavior. It’s crucial to get support and professional help if you believe that you or someone you know is dealing with narcissistic traits.

What if the narcissist is you?

So how do you know if you have narcissistic tendencies? It can be difficult to recognize these traits in ourselves, but the common signs would be the same. They would include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, a need for constant admiration and attention, and a tendency to manipulate or exploit others. But if you’re having trouble with your relationships, that could be a sign that you’re the narcissist. Do you tend to fight with others and have difficulty keeping friends or lovers? Do you tend to be rude or inconsiderate of others? Especially if you feel you are better than them? Or are you consistently kind and considerate with people, regardless of how important they seem?

If you suspect that you may have narcissistic tendencies, seeking professional help and support can be a very beneficial step for several reasons:

  1. Understanding and managing your behaviors: You can better understand your narcissistic tendencies and how they affect your relationships and general well-being with the help of a mental health professional. They can also help you to develop a plan for controlling your actions and creating better relationships and routines.
  1. Developing empathy: Lack of concern for others is one of the main traits of narcissism. Working with a mental health professional can help in your development of empathy and help you understand other people’s thoughts and emotions better.
  1. Building healthier relationships: Relationships can be severely compromised by narcissistic behaviors. You can learn how to form and maintain healthier relationships with others, based on mutual respect, empathy, and trust, by working with a mental health professional.
  1. Addressing underlying issues: Narcissistic tendencies may stem from underlying psychological or emotional problems, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, or melancholy. You can address these underlying issues and work towards a more positive and fulfilling life by seeking help from a professional.

In short, seeking professional help for narcissistic tendencies can help you better understand and manage your behaviors, develop empathy and healthier relationships, and address underlying issues that may be contributing to your behaviors. It can be a very positive step towards a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Conclusion

Narcissism is a complex and multifaceted personality disorder that significantly affects interpersonal relationships. Whether you suspect you have narcissistic tendencies or are concerned about someone else’s behavior, seeking professional help and guidance is wise.

Individuals can work toward a more positive and fulfilling life by understanding and managing narcissistic behaviors, developing empathy and healthier relationships, and addressing underlying issues.

It is never too late to get support and make positive changes for you and those around you. Everyone deserves the opportunity to experience healthy relationships based on mutual respect, empathy, and trust.

Are you a psychologically safe manager? Take the self assessment to find out.

There are several authoritative studies and journals that provide support for the discussion on narcissism above. Here are a few examples:

  1. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” by Elsa Ronningstam, published in Current Psychiatry Reports in 2016. This article provides an overview of the current research on narcissistic personality disorder, including its prevalence, symptoms, and treatment options.
  1. “The Dark Triad of Personality: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy” by Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams, published in the Journal of Research in Personality in 2002. This article explores the relationship between narcissism and two other personality traits, Machiavellianism and psychopathy, and their impact on social relationships.
  1. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Relational Aggression in a College Population” by Julie A. Martin and Jennifer K. Cukrowicz, published in the Journal of College Counseling in 2009. This study examines the relationship between narcissistic personality disorder and relational aggression in a college population, and provides insights into how narcissism impacts interpersonal relationships.
  1. “The Vulnerable Narcissist: Grandiosity, Shame, and Maladaptive Interpersonal Behavior” by Aaron L. Pincus and Aidan G.C. Wright, published in the Journal of Personality in 2011. This article explores the concept of “vulnerable narcissism,” a subtype of narcissism characterized by a fragile self-esteem and a tendency to experience shame and humiliation.m and a tendency to experience shame

These are just a few examples of the many studies and journals that provide support for the discussion on narcissism.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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mental health tips for wellness

7 Easy Mental Health Tips Anyone Can Apply

10/02/2023

There is a connection between physical and mental health. Physical health conditions can have a negative impact on mental health, and mental health disorders can increase the risk of developing physical health issues.

Unfortunately, a lot of people often neglect their mental health and wellbeing and develop mental health conditions like anxiety, stress, and depression as a result. You can maintain and enhance your mental health by following these 7 easy tips anyone can apply:

  1. Regular Exercise: Exercise is a proven method for enhancing mental health. In fact, research shows that exercise is as effective or more effective than medication for treating anxiety and mild depression.Regular exercise improves mood, reduces anxiety and depression, and increases self-worth and self-esteem. from the door, placing the printer away from your desk, taking the stairs instead of the lift.
mental health tips for wellness

Include physical activity in your daily routine, such as walking, yoga, or running. If you find that too difficult to start with, try tricking your brain into exercising with simple things like parking the car as far away as possible from the door, placing the printer away from your desk, taking the stairs instead of the lift.

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  1. Reduce cortisol levels: Cortisol levels are damaging to your mental and physical health. When cortisol levels are high, we suffer. The main driver of cortisol levels is stress. Make sure you nip stress in the bud. Exercise and coaching are very effective against stress.
  1. Getting Enough Sleep: Sleep is essential for both physical and mental health. The immune system is weakened by insufficient sleep, which tends to also worsen anxiety and depression. That’s why it’s important to get enough good quality sleep. To ensure you get enough rest, set up a sleep schedule, avoid using screens at least two hours before bed, and make a calm sleeping environment. Start by thinking about what you can do to improve your sleep that you are not doing right now, and then apply what you can.
  1. Balanced Diet: You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘you are what you eat’. To a degree, that’s correct in mental health also. Your mental health is impacted by what you eat. Low energy and unstable moods are consequences of a diet heavy in processed foods, bad fats, and sugar. A diet high in fermented food, rich in probiotics, fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and whole grains, on the other hand, offers crucial nutrients and enhances mental health.
  1. Social Connections: Because people are social creatures, it is essential for mental health to have fulfilling relationships. Feelings of loneliness and isolation can be lessened and general well-being can be increased by spending time with loved ones, giving back to the community, and engaging in social activities.
  1. Limit alcohol and drug consumption: Drugs, including medication, or alcohol can worsen mental health conditions already present. Even medications designed to ameliorate mental health conditions can have the opposite effect in some individuals. Listen to your body and reduce or eliminate the use of any substances that make you feel anxious or unwell.
  1. Practice of mindfulness (or mindful like practices): Mindfulness is a mental state in which one focuses on the right now. Using mindfulness techniques helps people feel calmer, less stressed, and healthier overall. Include mindfulness exercises in your daily routine, such as meditation, deep breathing, or focusing on your surroundings. If mindfulness is not quite your cup of tea, try prayer, or relaxation techniques. What are some relaxation techniques you know and like? You could try things as having a cup of tea, a relaxing bath or shower, walking your dog or even writing a gratitude list.

Download Simple Mental Health Tips infographic.

Keep in mind that a variety of mental health disorders, including stress, depression, and anxiety, can have a negative impact on a person’s quality of life. These mental health conditions may lead to emotional distress, interfere with relationships and employment, and raise the possibility of physical health issues.

You should seek professional help if you’re having ongoing and severe problems with depression or anxiety. A mental health professional can offer assistance, care, and direction to help manage symptoms and enhance general mental health.

The significance of mental health cannot be overstated. For the sake of your physical and mental wellbeing as well as for leading thriving, happy lives, it is vital you maintain good mental health. Now you too can enhance your quality of life and lower your risk of developing mental health disorders by placing a higher priority on your daily practice of these 7 tips.

Are you a psychologically safe manager? Take the self assessment to find out.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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This article was first published on The WMHI Global

Unleash-Your-Voice

Find & Unleash Your Voice

22/02/2022

The Never-Ending Search for Health and Agency at Work

When it comes to health in the workplace, most people immediately think of physical health, including preventing accidents, slips, falls, etc. However, research shows that worker´s mental health is just as important, if not more so, than their physical health.

For example, take an office worker who is supremely unhappy with their job. They’re so sad, in fact, that they become clinically depressed and have severe bouts of anxiety. They start showing up late, are disengaged on the job, and call in sick frequently. Some may even consider self-harm or harming their co-workers.

Most would agree this is an unhealthy situation. While physical health may be more readily observed, the fact is that employee´s mental health is just as vital to an organization as their physical health. The question then becomes; what can be done to improve the overall mental health of all employees?

There are of course, a number of different avenues to improving mental health, resilience and wellbeing. But one that is so often overlooked, but which is becoming ever so critical in the modern workplace, is the importance of Freedom of Expression.

Unleash-Your-Voice

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Freedom of Expression and the Mental Health Connection

In The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 10 declares that the right to freedom of opinion and expression is one of the fundamental human rights. Indeed, it may be the most essential human right, as freedom of expression ties deeply into the human psyche.

But what, exactly, is freedom of expression, and why is it so crucial to a person’s mental health? The answer lies in the fact that, while an employee is under the organization’s auspices for whom they work, they are expected to do their work and be productive. However, they are still an autonomous individual with their own opinions, beliefs, and values.

Freedom of expression is the right to express those opinions, beliefs, and values without fear of reprisal, oppression, and censorship. However, the challenge for an employer is to balance an employee’s individual right to expression with the organization’s values, rules, and expectations.

Employees Do Not Have a Constitutional Right to Free Speech

One of the most surprising facts for many people is that, while on the job, freedom of speech laws of the outside world don’t always apply. Even though some may disagree, as an employee, the right to freedom of speech is relatively limited. For example, an employee who publicly says or writes something inflammatory about the company can face legal charges.

Of course, the average employee is never going to do anything of the sort. Many enjoy their job,but, without the freedom to express themselves, languish at their jobs while anxiety and depression take their toll. That’s a problem that has with nothing to do with free speech but rather an employee feeling that their voice, opinions, and ideas have no value.

Methods to Empower Freedom of Expression

Giving employees the ability to fully express their ideas and opinions on the job isn’t something that happens naturally for most organizations. Frankly, it’s ingrained into most workers that “rocking the boat” isn’t a good plan (especially if they want to remain employed).

In the industrial age, we had a very different approach to work. People who got hired to work on a factory line, exchanged their time and physical labor for money. There was no need nor expectation that they would have an input into the systems or procedures. But now, we are no longer in the industrial age. Times are very different.

In the current pandemic/post pandemic workplace, more and more employees are re-evaluating their work and lives, with many opting out of the workforce entirely (heard of the Great resignation?). Those who remain are demanding greater flexibility, greater collaboration, and greater opportunity to contribute their perspectives and ideas in the workplace. At the very least, to be our selves at work. Many workplaces too, are providing support for the ´whole person´, recognizing that as human beings, the personal does impact the professional and vice versa.

For that reason, an organization must make a point of allowing their employees to express their ideas, needs, wants, and any problems they’re having on the job. This is a key element of a psychologically safe workplace. More importantly, action has to be taken that proves their opinions and ideas are being taken seriously. Below are a few excellent methods to do that, including:

  • Show That Speaking Up is a Positive, Not a Negative

Allowing employees the regular opportunity to give feedback without fear of reprisal is one of the best methods of allowing them to express themselves. The truth is, speaking up takes courage. Getting valuable feedback when that happens can be an incredible ego booster that keeps an employee engaged, happy and productive.

  • Create a Culture of Feedback in the Workplace

A quick online search for the term “feedback” will reveal millions and millions of results. Why? Because humans love giving their feedback about anything and everything, especially when they feel that they have something to add to the conversation.

This holds true in the workplace as well, where it’s guaranteed that many employees would love to give their feedback about a wide variety of work-related topics. The key as an employer is to provide them with an open forum to do just that.

This requires much more than a simple “Suggestion Box” on the wall, it is about communicating that the feedback is heard, genuinely considered, and acted upon in one form or another.

When your organization has a culture of seeking feedback and taking action on it, the response from employees is highly positive. One reason may be that, by allowing unfettered feedback, an employer (or manager) showcases their humility. This, in turn, elevates the status of the team member who was seeking feedback. The result is a standard of psychological safety that doesn’t just allow for freedom of expression; it actively encourages that expression on behalf of all employees.

  • Look at Complaints and Grievances as Important Data

It’s easy to see complaints and grievances as nuisances, especially if they aren’t particularly true or correct. On the other hand, if you look at the information provided as data, you can often learn valuable information that, in the end, helps the organization.

Indeed, many a positive change has come from an employee expressing themself about a negative situation. Without freedom of expression in the workplace, these positive (and frequently profitable) changes would never occur.

  • Employee Agency and Mental Health Are Closely Tied Together

By ´agency´ we mean personal agency – the sense of confidence that staff member has that they can influence, and make an impact on their world – in this case, the workplace.

At the end of the day, an employee’s agency and mental health while on the job are closely related. One compliments the other, with more fulfilled, engaged, and productive employees as a result.

For these reasons, giving all employees a voice is vitally important to an organization’s success. Yes, limits and structure need to be put in place, but the resulting changes will contribute to a workplace where mental health issues are low, and satisfaction levels are high. That’s a win-win situation for all involved.

In short, when an organization allows its employees to unleash their voice, the entire organization benefits. In the never-ending search for health and agency, freedom of expression in the workplace is a proven, profitable solution.

WMHI-WorkLife-Dec-2021

Read the WorkLife Magazine – The Freedom to Express

Pencils

How to Stop Being Fake and Start Living Your Authentic Self

31/01/2022

Authentic. It’s a word we use to describe when something is real or genuine and not a copy or something false. You can say that a Rolex watch or a painting by Picasso is authentic. But what about a person…?

By this definition, humans too, are naturally authentic. Your mere existence makes you so. Just look at a newborn baby – they are completely themselves. They want to cry, they cry, they want to sleep, they sleep, they want to relieve themselves, they just go for it. There´s no guilt, no shame, no over analysis.

But we can´t keep doing that forever! You wouldn´t get very far in the world. As we are socialized, we learn to modify our behavior, to adapt to different circumstances, in order to survive, and to get the best outcomes.

Pencils

But often, through the process of interacting with the world around us, we can take this too far, and start to behave in a way that is not necessarily true to ourselves and to our own nature.

And so, people can also lose that authenticity, and become fake, or false, doing things that are in conflict with, or even the opposite to their core personality and beliefs.

People put on a fake persona for many different reasons. Many people struggle with showing their authentic selves due to fear, anxiety, and other uncomfortable emotions. They feel that if people knew who they really were, they wouldn’t be as well-liked, lose their respect or even lose their love.

However, being authentic is actually one of the crucial aspects needed for healthy relationships that are impactful and meaningful. How can anyone love you for who you are, if you are not being yourself to begin with? And second, wearing a mask, or putting on a persona day in and day out can be tiring. It´s a heavy costume to wear, and we can end up exhausted and burned out. It is so much lighter and easier to let go of that person and just Be You.

Which leads to the question; how can you start living your authentic self? Below we’ll answer that question and take a closer look at the common mistakes and misperceptions people have when it comes to being authentic.

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What Does it Mean to be Your Authentic Self?

Being authentic isn’t difficult but does take practice (as with everything in life). To be authentic, you must have a keen awareness of who you indeed are, including what you care about, believe in, and stand for.

An authentic person, for example, says and does things that are in absolute alignment with their core beliefs and identity. They don’t change their views, actions, or opinions to please other people, and they answer questions with honesty and consistency. For example, authentic people:

  • Make decisions that align with their core beliefs and values.
  • Pursue their passions no matter what others might say.
  • Set boundaries and, in all circumstances, enforce those boundaries by walking away from toxic or harmful relationships.
  • Let themselves be vulnerable and open-hearted under the right situations and with the people they love and care about.
  • Listen to their conscience, the “inner voice” that guides us and, amazingly, is always right.

The examples above should give you a good idea of what it means to be authentic and live an authentic life. To make it even more profound, though, being authentic will show you where you’re going and give your life clarity.

As an authentic person, you know what your core values are, and you make every decision in your life based on those values. In turn, this allows you to build the life you dream about, give you more joy and happiness, and inspires those around you to be more authentic.

Common Mistake People Make About Authenticity

As with all things in life, becoming your authentic self takes time, effort, and practice. The fact is, we all change and grow as we get older, and our core beliefs and values change also.

As with everything in life, there will be obstacles and bumps along the way. To be authentic means to evaluate those obstacles, get over those bumps, and be the person you are inside on the outside. Some of the mistakes people make on the road to becoming theory authentic selves include:

Equating Being Authentic With Being Rude, Aggressive, or Mean

Being authentic means sticking to your core beliefs and values under all circumstances. For some, this is often mistaken, if you will, for being an A-hole. Many people think authenticity is speaking your mind and saying your opinion no matter what the situation.

In fact, the opposite is true. An authentic person doesn’t feel the need to force their opinions or beliefs on others. Yes, they will undoubtedly try, under some circumstances, to persuade people to see things “their way.”

However, authentic people know who they are and don’t waste time trying to change people who don’t want to, or aren’t ready, to be changed. Also, they use tact, compassion, and respect when talking to those whose opinions differ from their own.

Not Being Sure of Who You Are

Less a mistake than a situation, not knowing exactly who you are is one of the obstacles you need to overcome on the journey to being your authentic self. That’s why authenticity is so difficult for teens and younger adults as they simply don’t know who they are, at least not entirely.

Making the time to understand yourself, realize your core values and set your life on course to be authentic is necessary for all people. It takes listening to others, reading books, meditating, and being open to at least hear all opinions before making a judgment.

Trying To Remove the Risk of Failure, Embarrassment, or Pain

Many people make this mistake on the road to become their authentic selves,. They try to be someone whom they are not, to avoid pain, embarrassment, and failure. However, all of these emotions and feelings are natural and need to be confronted in a healthy way.

For example, you need to realize that failure, though not optimal, is a natural part of life.Embarrassment? The only valid reason to be embarrassed is if you try to be someone you’re not, and it blows up in your face. If you are behaving in an authentic way, and you accept yourself as you are, then there is never anything to be embarrassed about.

How To Start Being Your Authentic Self

Being authentic, as we mentioned earlier, takes time, effort, and introspection. Below are a few methods you can use to let your authentic self shine through:

  • Learn what your strengths are, whether with language, emotions, physical skills, etc.
  • Look at failure as a natural part of life rather than a roadblock or weakness. Everyone fails. The real winners are those who don’t let failure stop them from achieving their dreams.
  • Spend time every day doing things that help you realize who you are and what you stand for. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn from a mentor, practice being authentic, etc.
  • Actively practice spotting and dropping judgement – of yourself and others.
  • Don’t try to do it all at once. Start with smaller goals like becoming healthier, setting boundaries, and speaking from the heart.

Final Thoughts

Becoming your authentic self is a worthy goal; it’s true. It’s also a goal that will take some time to achieve, so don’t rush it. Instead, take little steps, be unafraid to fail, and never, ever let anyone try to tell you who you are.

Remember, becoming your authentic self isn’t something that one day happens and is set for the rest of your life. As you grow and mature, your authentic self will change and evolve also. If you allow that person to shine, your life and the lives of those around you will be much brighter.

WMHI-WorkLife-Dec-2021

Read the WorkLife Magazine – The Freedom to Express

Social-Connection

Looking after your Social Connection

17/02/2021

Moving from Conflict and Separation to Love and Belonging

As we counted down to the New Year, around the world millions of people were pleased to see the end of what for many has been the most challenging year in recent history, if not in their lifetime, and to welcome in a new year, with hope for something at least a bit more positive.

Observing the mixed emotions and reactions across different platforms including both mainstream and social media, one word seemed to keep coming up as important for people everywhere: Connection.

It shouldn’t be surprising really, that after a year of social distancing, quarantining, isolation and disconnection, that people are yearning to reconnect.

We are social beings after all. If you think back to our caveman times (well, you can imagine at least), we went from being lone homo sapiens wandering the lands, to forming tribes, who had a better chance of survival by coming together to fight the sabre tooth tiger and raise offspring together as a community.

But besides survival, was there another benefit? Perhaps psychological in nature?

Social-Connection

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests that once our basic physiological and safety needs are met, we then seek to fulfil our need for love and belonging. And there it is, we need connection not just for physical survival but for our psychological survival and wellbeing.

Social distancing has meant not just a physical distancing between people, it has also meant an emotional distancing.

Perhaps one of the most distressing phenomena we have observed in the last 12 months has been the increased amount of conflict brought about by world events and the stresses that it creates. I´m sure you can think of examples of the following:

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  • Conflict between family members with different perspectives or different levels of risk tolerance–with some questioning whether we should we have that get together or not, others feeling hurt or rejected when family members are too afraid to see them – sometimes even their own parents or children. Or perhaps they do get together and then argue about the politics of it all.
  • Friends fighting on social media about the definition of pandemic, about how many masks to wear, about the pros and cons of lockdown, quarantines, presidents and prime ministers. We’ve even seen close friends of decades end relationships on the basis of philosophical differences. Of course, the trolls jump in to stir up the drama and discontent.
  • Partners who have become ‘COVID casualties’, no longer able to sustain a romantic relationship, either due to distance or domestic distress.
  • News articles about brawls in the street, fights in the supermarket, not to mention protests, riots and the like.

Indeed, it seems stress levels are at an all-time high, and conflict is at every turn.

Considering Moving to a Deserted Island?

Most people have at some point entertained the idea of escaping to a deserted island (if you could find a plane to get there!). When we keep coming into contact with people in a conflictual space (whether overt or covert) it can make us want to stop contacting and connecting with people at all. When every interaction raises our emotional temperature or requires a greater amount of emotional regulation on our part, no wonder we are feeling burned out by people. When the world and everyone in it is crazy, it is easy to want to withdraw from it all, in a self-imposed quarantine.

The problem is that while getting away from everyone may sound lovely, peaceful and refreshing, and indeed there can be many benefits from periods of self-reflection, it´s not a long term solution. The flip side is loneliness.

Loneliness has been recognized amongst psychologists as a huge concern for mental health, long before we ever knew what social distancing was:

  • A 2018 survey from The Economist and the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF), found that more than two in ten adults in the United States (22%) and the United Kingdom (23%) say they always or often feel lonely, lack companionship, or feel left out or isolated.
  • A Cigna survey revealed that nearly half of Americans always or sometimes feel alone (46%) or left out (47%). 54% said they always or sometimes feel that no one knows them well.
  • And in a nationwide survey from the BBC, a third of Brits said they often or very often feel lonely.

And loneliness is not so much about being physically separate from people, as it is about feeling emotionally separate. That’s why you can be physically in contact with people, yet still feel lonely, or vice versa, oceans apart yet still feel loved and connected.

What are the benefits of Social Connection?

It is well evidenced that we DO benefit from positive social connections, mentally, emotionally, and physically:

  • Quality relationships help maintain brain health, slowing down cognitive decline and reducing risk of dementia.
  • Helps you live longer: a review of 148 studies shows that people with stronger social relationships improve their likelihood of survival by 50%.
  • Reduces susceptibility to inflammation and viral infection, something we should all be interested in right now, and helps us to recover from disease faster.
  • Lowers rates of anxiety and depression.
  • Better emotion regulation skills.

And conversely, lack of social relationships has been found to have a detrimental effect that is just as bad as smoking, high blood pressure or obesity, in terms of their association with illness and death.

What Do We Do About It?

So, if getting away from them all isn’t the answer, what can we do to reduce the conflict, and the so often subsequent distress and create more positive social connections with people?

1. Turn off the News / Social Media?

News and social media are part of the problem. In a previous article of WorkLife we talked about how the media feeds on fear and negativity to capture our attention and sell. Hence, it is clear that it is good to unplug from time to time. The problem is not with the mediums themselves, they are just a tool after all, the problem is that it is practically impossible to control the type of input you are getting. So even the most self-aware person with great mental habits cannot fight against our natural emotional responses to emotional content, nor can we beat the bots who program us for heightened emotional arousal (and therefore sales in advertising).

Is it realistic to stop using these tools altogether in this day and age? Well, those who do, report being happy with the decision, but for many of us this may be quite drastic. And it can have the unwanted side effect of further disconnection from others. So, if you do decide to unplug for a while, make sure you are filling that gap with other, more healthy types of connection.

2. Manage Your Own Responses to People

Yes, people can be jerks. But part of our development as adult human beings is to learn to navigate that. In fact, that is something we strive to teach our children from the first moment they begin to interact with other children.

Emotional intelligence is about being able to empathize, understand others, manage our own emotions, and relationships with people, not to run away and withdraw from others.

It’s good to be humble and remember that we have also been jerks to others at some point in our lives. Wasn’t it nice when others made room for our shortcomings? It can be helpful to step into a place of compassion, remembering that most people are doing the best they can with the resources (emotional or otherwise) they have available. Instead of allowing yourself to get frustrated or angry with others, recognize that they may actually be struggling themselves. This will allow you to approach them with greater kindness, or at the very least, help you to cool down a little while you consider your response.

3. Respect Diversity

Respect for diversity is crucial if you are going to have other people in your life. Not just diversity of gender, race or culture, but diversity of perspectives, beliefs and opinions. Because as soon as you have more than one person in a room,sooner or later differences of opinion, great or small, are unavoidable.

While it can feel great to surround ourselves with like minded people, there are benefits to having people from all walks of life, perspectives and ideologies in your social circle. It makes you a more well-rounded person.

In fact, many people love the sport of engaging in a debate over the merits and pitfalls of different ideas, but this only works if both people enjoy the debate, and it is done with a great deal of respect for the other person as a person, and therefore entitled to their beliefs.

At the end of the day, the world is full of different people. It would be pretty boring if we all thought and behaved the same. So, if you are going to nurture your relationships and social connections, “to each to their own” is a pretty wise philosophy to adopt. Stop trying to change or control everyone else (an impossible task), and immediately a weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

4. Listen to Understand

“But I can’t actually respect their opinion because it is not just different, it’s immoral, evil or downright dangerous!”, you may say. Unfortunately, adding a moral judgement doesn’t help matters. But consider for a moment – is it REALLY likely that your partner/family member / friend / colleague who previously was a regular ‘good’ person with positive intentions, overnight turned into a horrible, reckless person with no care nor concern for others? Or is it more likely that perhaps you´re not really hearing what they are trying to communicate. Nor them, you.

Genuinely try to step into their shoes, and understand what they are saying, even if you already have a counter argument for it in your own head. Where are they coming from? What is leading them to come to a conclusion so different from yours? Get curious. There might even be something to learn here.

Consciously remind yourself that ultimately, they have a good intention. You may disagree on the details but it’s likely that you both want to see the same outcome, you just have different ideas on how to get there.

5. Agree to Disagree

With so many polarizing topics being discussed right now, sometimes it is simply best to agree to disagree. As mentioned, diversity is good, but we don´t want to be so divided we can´t function. With some people it might be best to agree not to discuss certain topics. That is fine too. You can still love each other and bring a lot of positive to each other’s lives. Know which conversations to have with whom, and when.

6. Don’t Make Decisions in a Crisis

Sure, take some time out from people if you need to, but keep it in balance. Don’t write off entire relationships on the basis of one disagreement, or a relatively short period of discontent or distress.

In psychology we have a saying “Don’t make decisions in a crisis” which is pretty good advice in a whole range of scenarios. If you cut off people too easily, or if you only ever have relationships with people who never hurt you, offend you, anger you, disappoint you, or let you down, you will end up a pretty lonely, and bitter, person.

Accept that part of having relationships with other humans means experiencing the lows as well as the highs, accepting people for who they are, even if they are imperfect in your view.

Come Together

Human relationships are complex, messy, and often frustrating, yet they are also necessary, beautiful and meaningful. Make 2021 a year of reconnecting with the people in your life from a place of compassion, love and kindness. There is already enough fear, anger and stress in the world. As has become so abundantly clear – life is short, and we never quite know what is round the corner, so connect in ways that you can be proud of within yourself, so you can live with no regrets.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

Connect with Peter Diaz on:
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Read the WorkLife eMag February 2021 Edition – Social Connection

Worklife eMag - Social Connection