Tag Archives: Mental Health Strategies

understanding personality disorders

Unveiling Narcissism: Understanding the Personality Disorder that can Destroy Your Relationships

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated opinion of one’s importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a constant need for admiration and attention.

People with narcissistic personality disorder often have trouble forming strong connections with others and might engage in harmful behaviors to keep their sense of superiority over others. We’ll talk about what narcissism is, how it affects relationships, and how to spot narcissistic traits in people.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is classified as personality disorder and characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for other people. People with narcissistic personality disorder frequently exaggerate their sense of importance and may think they deserve special attention because they are special or unique. They may constantly crave praise and attention and use coercive or exploitative tactics to get what they want from others.

understanding personality disorders

Narcissistic traits can be acquired, especially if a person is raised in a setting where they are regularly complimented and celebrated for their accomplishments and where their needs and wants are constantly put before those of others. However, it’s crucial to keep in mind that not everyone who grows up in such environments will exhibit narcissistic traits. A number of other variables, such as genetics, brain chemistry, and early experiences, can contribute to the development of narcissism.

Is Narcissism Real Or Just People Being Spoilt, Entitled Or Just Plain Evil?

Narcissism is not only real but it is also a diagnosable personality disorder that is recognized by mental health professionals. While it is true that some individuals who exhibit narcissistic behaviors may be spoiled or entitled, it is crucial to recognize that narcissism is a complex and multifaceted condition that extends beyond simply being self-centered or entitled.

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People with narcissistic personality disorder often have an excessive sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for how others feel, and an insatiable need for admiration and attention. They may be manipulative or use others for their own gain, and usually have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships. These habits can cause significant damage to both the narcissist and the people around them.

While it can be tempting to label the narcissist as “evil” or morally corrupt, it’s important to remember that these are also people deserving our compassion and that these narcissistic behaviors are often indicative of deep-seated psychological and emotional issues. With the appropriate treatment and support, people with narcissistic personality disorder can change their behaviors and form stronger relationships.

How Narcissism Impacts Relationships

Narcissism has a significant negative impact on relationships. Individuals with narcissistic disorder may find it difficulty to form healthy, long lasting, relationships because they are obsessed with themselves and their own needs. They may not be able to show empathize or understand how others are feeling, which can lead to conflict and problems with others. They may also tend to manipulate or take advantage of others for their own gain, which can be very damaging to relationships.

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In romantic relationships, narcissists may be excessively critical of their partner, dismissive of his or her needs, and unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions. When their partner does not meet their expectations or requirements, they may also be quick to anger or display aggression.

People with narcissistic tendencies may be extremely competitive in friendships, always attempting to be the center of attention and coming out on top. They may also be extremely critical of their friends and averse to offer assistance or compassion when their friends are in need.They may be highly ambitious and motivated in the workplace, but they may also be highly critical of their coworkers and averse to collaborate with others. In order to advance their own careers at the expense of others, they may also engage in manipulative or exploitative behavior.

Identifying Narcissistic Tendencies

If you think you or someone you know may have narcissistic tendencies, there are several signs to look out for. These include:

  • An exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • A lack of empathy for others
  • A need for constant admiration and attention
  • A tendency to manipulate or exploit others

But let us delve into these traits in a little more detail.

  1. Exaggerated sense of self-importance: Narcissistic individuals frequently have an exaggerated sense of their own significance and competence. They might consider themselves special, singular, or deserving of special care, and they might anticipate approval from others. This may result in a lack of humility and a refusal to take into account the opinions or requirements of others.
  1. Lack of empathy for others: The capacity for empathy is the capacity to make sense of and experience other people’s emotions. Narcissistic individuals may find it difficult to empathize with others, concentrating only on their own needs and wants. They might be indifferent to other people’s feelings, intolerant of their concerns, and unable to understand their motivations.
  1. Need for constant admiration and attention: Narcissistic people yearn for praise and adoration from others. In social settings, they might go to great lengths to be the center of attention and actively seek compliments and praise from others to boost their self-esteem. They may become irate or upset when they do not receive the amount of admiration or attention they believe they deserve.
  1. Tendency to manipulate or exploit others: Individuals with narcissistic tendencies may employ tactics of manipulation and exploitation in order to achieve their desired outcomes from others. They may exploit others for personal benefit, without considering their emotional or physical welfare. Individuals may exhibit a willingness to engage in deceptive or dishonest behavior as a means of attaining their objectives.

Both the person with narcissistic tendencies and those around them may be significantly harmed by these traits. While it’s essential to keep in mind that not everyone who exhibits some of these traits is a narcissist, you should be wary if you see a pattern of these behaviors repeated in someone’s behavior. It’s crucial to get support and professional help if you believe that you or someone you know is dealing with narcissistic traits.

What if the narcissist is you?

So how do you know if you have narcissistic tendencies? It can be difficult to recognize these traits in ourselves, but the common signs would be the same. They would include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, a need for constant admiration and attention, and a tendency to manipulate or exploit others. But if you’re having trouble with your relationships, that could be a sign that you’re the narcissist. Do you tend to fight with others and have difficulty keeping friends or lovers? Do you tend to be rude or inconsiderate of others? Especially if you feel you are better than them? Or are you consistently kind and considerate with people, regardless of how important they seem?

If you suspect that you may have narcissistic tendencies, seeking professional help and support can be a very beneficial step for several reasons:

  1. Understanding and managing your behaviors: You can better understand your narcissistic tendencies and how they affect your relationships and general well-being with the help of a mental health professional. They can also help you to develop a plan for controlling your actions and creating better relationships and routines.
  1. Developing empathy: Lack of concern for others is one of the main traits of narcissism. Working with a mental health professional can help in your development of empathy and help you understand other people’s thoughts and emotions better.
  1. Building healthier relationships: Relationships can be severely compromised by narcissistic behaviors. You can learn how to form and maintain healthier relationships with others, based on mutual respect, empathy, and trust, by working with a mental health professional.
  1. Addressing underlying issues: Narcissistic tendencies may stem from underlying psychological or emotional problems, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, or melancholy. You can address these underlying issues and work towards a more positive and fulfilling life by seeking help from a professional.

In short, seeking professional help for narcissistic tendencies can help you better understand and manage your behaviors, develop empathy and healthier relationships, and address underlying issues that may be contributing to your behaviors. It can be a very positive step towards a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Conclusion

Narcissism is a complex and multifaceted personality disorder that significantly affects interpersonal relationships. Whether you suspect you have narcissistic tendencies or are concerned about someone else’s behavior, seeking professional help and guidance is wise.

Individuals can work toward a more positive and fulfilling life by understanding and managing narcissistic behaviors, developing empathy and healthier relationships, and addressing underlying issues.

It is never too late to get support and make positive changes for you and those around you. Everyone deserves the opportunity to experience healthy relationships based on mutual respect, empathy, and trust.

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There are several authoritative studies and journals that provide support for the discussion on narcissism above. Here are a few examples:

  1. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” by Elsa Ronningstam, published in Current Psychiatry Reports in 2016. This article provides an overview of the current research on narcissistic personality disorder, including its prevalence, symptoms, and treatment options.
  1. “The Dark Triad of Personality: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy” by Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams, published in the Journal of Research in Personality in 2002. This article explores the relationship between narcissism and two other personality traits, Machiavellianism and psychopathy, and their impact on social relationships.
  1. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Relational Aggression in a College Population” by Julie A. Martin and Jennifer K. Cukrowicz, published in the Journal of College Counseling in 2009. This study examines the relationship between narcissistic personality disorder and relational aggression in a college population, and provides insights into how narcissism impacts interpersonal relationships.
  1. “The Vulnerable Narcissist: Grandiosity, Shame, and Maladaptive Interpersonal Behavior” by Aaron L. Pincus and Aidan G.C. Wright, published in the Journal of Personality in 2011. This article explores the concept of “vulnerable narcissism,” a subtype of narcissism characterized by a fragile self-esteem and a tendency to experience shame and humiliation.m and a tendency to experience shame

These are just a few examples of the many studies and journals that provide support for the discussion on narcissism.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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mental health tips for wellness

7 Easy Mental Health Tips Anyone Can Apply

There is a connection between physical and mental health. Physical health conditions can have a negative impact on mental health, and mental health disorders can increase the risk of developing physical health issues.

Unfortunately, a lot of people often neglect their mental health and wellbeing and develop mental health conditions like anxiety, stress, and depression as a result. You can maintain and enhance your mental health by following these 7 easy tips anyone can apply:

  1. Regular Exercise: Exercise is a proven method for enhancing mental health. In fact, research shows that exercise is as effective or more effective than medication for treating anxiety and mild depression.Regular exercise improves mood, reduces anxiety and depression, and increases self-worth and self-esteem. from the door, placing the printer away from your desk, taking the stairs instead of the lift.
mental health tips for wellness

Include physical activity in your daily routine, such as walking, yoga, or running. If you find that too difficult to start with, try tricking your brain into exercising with simple things like parking the car as far away as possible from the door, placing the printer away from your desk, taking the stairs instead of the lift.

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  1. Reduce cortisol levels: Cortisol levels are damaging to your mental and physical health. When cortisol levels are high, we suffer. The main driver of cortisol levels is stress. Make sure you nip stress in the bud. Exercise and coaching are very effective against stress.
  1. Getting Enough Sleep: Sleep is essential for both physical and mental health. The immune system is weakened by insufficient sleep, which tends to also worsen anxiety and depression. That’s why it’s important to get enough good quality sleep. To ensure you get enough rest, set up a sleep schedule, avoid using screens at least two hours before bed, and make a calm sleeping environment. Start by thinking about what you can do to improve your sleep that you are not doing right now, and then apply what you can.
  1. Balanced Diet: You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘you are what you eat’. To a degree, that’s correct in mental health also. Your mental health is impacted by what you eat. Low energy and unstable moods are consequences of a diet heavy in processed foods, bad fats, and sugar. A diet high in fermented food, rich in probiotics, fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and whole grains, on the other hand, offers crucial nutrients and enhances mental health.
  1. Social Connections: Because people are social creatures, it is essential for mental health to have fulfilling relationships. Feelings of loneliness and isolation can be lessened and general well-being can be increased by spending time with loved ones, giving back to the community, and engaging in social activities.
  1. Limit alcohol and drug consumption: Drugs, including medication, or alcohol can worsen mental health conditions already present. Even medications designed to ameliorate mental health conditions can have the opposite effect in some individuals. Listen to your body and reduce or eliminate the use of any substances that make you feel anxious or unwell.
  1. Practice of mindfulness (or mindful like practices): Mindfulness is a mental state in which one focuses on the right now. Using mindfulness techniques helps people feel calmer, less stressed, and healthier overall. Include mindfulness exercises in your daily routine, such as meditation, deep breathing, or focusing on your surroundings. If mindfulness is not quite your cup of tea, try prayer, or relaxation techniques. What are some relaxation techniques you know and like? You could try things as having a cup of tea, a relaxing bath or shower, walking your dog or even writing a gratitude list.

Keep in mind that a variety of mental health disorders, including stress, depression, and anxiety, can have a negative impact on a person’s quality of life. These mental health conditions may lead to emotional distress, interfere with relationships and employment, and raise the possibility of physical health issues.

You should seek professional help if you’re having ongoing and severe problems with depression or anxiety. A mental health professional can offer assistance, care, and direction to help manage symptoms and enhance general mental health.

The significance of mental health cannot be overstated. For the sake of your physical and mental wellbeing as well as for leading thriving, happy lives, it is vital you maintain good mental health. Now you too can enhance your quality of life and lower your risk of developing mental health disorders by placing a higher priority on your daily practice of these 7 tips.

Are you a psychologically safe manager? Take the self assessment to find out.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

Connect with Peter Diaz on:
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This article was first published on The WMHI Global

Unleash-Your-Voice

Find & Unleash Your Voice

The Never-Ending Search for Health and Agency at Work

When it comes to health in the workplace, most people immediately think of physical health, including preventing accidents, slips, falls, etc. However, research shows that worker´s mental health is just as important, if not more so, than their physical health.

For example, take an office worker who is supremely unhappy with their job. They’re so sad, in fact, that they become clinically depressed and have severe bouts of anxiety. They start showing up late, are disengaged on the job, and call in sick frequently. Some may even consider self-harm or harming their co-workers.

Most would agree this is an unhealthy situation. While physical health may be more readily observed, the fact is that employee´s mental health is just as vital to an organization as their physical health. The question then becomes; what can be done to improve the overall mental health of all employees?

There are of course, a number of different avenues to improving mental health, resilience and wellbeing. But one that is so often overlooked, but which is becoming ever so critical in the modern workplace, is the importance of Freedom of Expression.

Unleash-Your-Voice

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Freedom of Expression and the Mental Health Connection

In The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 10 declares that the right to freedom of opinion and expression is one of the fundamental human rights. Indeed, it may be the most essential human right, as freedom of expression ties deeply into the human psyche.

But what, exactly, is freedom of expression, and why is it so crucial to a person’s mental health? The answer lies in the fact that, while an employee is under the organization’s auspices for whom they work, they are expected to do their work and be productive. However, they are still an autonomous individual with their own opinions, beliefs, and values.

Freedom of expression is the right to express those opinions, beliefs, and values without fear of reprisal, oppression, and censorship. However, the challenge for an employer is to balance an employee’s individual right to expression with the organization’s values, rules, and expectations.

Employees Do Not Have a Constitutional Right to Free Speech

One of the most surprising facts for many people is that, while on the job, freedom of speech laws of the outside world don’t always apply. Even though some may disagree, as an employee, the right to freedom of speech is relatively limited. For example, an employee who publicly says or writes something inflammatory about the company can face legal charges.

Of course, the average employee is never going to do anything of the sort. Many enjoy their job,but, without the freedom to express themselves, languish at their jobs while anxiety and depression take their toll. That’s a problem that has with nothing to do with free speech but rather an employee feeling that their voice, opinions, and ideas have no value.

Methods to Empower Freedom of Expression

Giving employees the ability to fully express their ideas and opinions on the job isn’t something that happens naturally for most organizations. Frankly, it’s ingrained into most workers that “rocking the boat” isn’t a good plan (especially if they want to remain employed).

In the industrial age, we had a very different approach to work. People who got hired to work on a factory line, exchanged their time and physical labor for money. There was no need nor expectation that they would have an input into the systems or procedures. But now, we are no longer in the industrial age. Times are very different.

In the current pandemic/post pandemic workplace, more and more employees are re-evaluating their work and lives, with many opting out of the workforce entirely (heard of the Great resignation?). Those who remain are demanding greater flexibility, greater collaboration, and greater opportunity to contribute their perspectives and ideas in the workplace. At the very least, to be our selves at work. Many workplaces too, are providing support for the ´whole person´, recognizing that as human beings, the personal does impact the professional and vice versa.

For that reason, an organization must make a point of allowing their employees to express their ideas, needs, wants, and any problems they’re having on the job. This is a key element of a psychologically safe workplace. More importantly, action has to be taken that proves their opinions and ideas are being taken seriously. Below are a few excellent methods to do that, including:

  • Show That Speaking Up is a Positive, Not a Negative

Allowing employees the regular opportunity to give feedback without fear of reprisal is one of the best methods of allowing them to express themselves. The truth is, speaking up takes courage. Getting valuable feedback when that happens can be an incredible ego booster that keeps an employee engaged, happy and productive.

  • Create a Culture of Feedback in the Workplace

A quick online search for the term “feedback” will reveal millions and millions of results. Why? Because humans love giving their feedback about anything and everything, especially when they feel that they have something to add to the conversation.

This holds true in the workplace as well, where it’s guaranteed that many employees would love to give their feedback about a wide variety of work-related topics. The key as an employer is to provide them with an open forum to do just that.

This requires much more than a simple “Suggestion Box” on the wall, it is about communicating that the feedback is heard, genuinely considered, and acted upon in one form or another.

When your organization has a culture of seeking feedback and taking action on it, the response from employees is highly positive. One reason may be that, by allowing unfettered feedback, an employer (or manager) showcases their humility. This, in turn, elevates the status of the team member who was seeking feedback. The result is a standard of psychological safety that doesn’t just allow for freedom of expression; it actively encourages that expression on behalf of all employees.

  • Look at Complaints and Grievances as Important Data

It’s easy to see complaints and grievances as nuisances, especially if they aren’t particularly true or correct. On the other hand, if you look at the information provided as data, you can often learn valuable information that, in the end, helps the organization.

Indeed, many a positive change has come from an employee expressing themself about a negative situation. Without freedom of expression in the workplace, these positive (and frequently profitable) changes would never occur.

  • Employee Agency and Mental Health Are Closely Tied Together

By ´agency´ we mean personal agency – the sense of confidence that staff member has that they can influence, and make an impact on their world – in this case, the workplace.

At the end of the day, an employee’s agency and mental health while on the job are closely related. One compliments the other, with more fulfilled, engaged, and productive employees as a result.

For these reasons, giving all employees a voice is vitally important to an organization’s success. Yes, limits and structure need to be put in place, but the resulting changes will contribute to a workplace where mental health issues are low, and satisfaction levels are high. That’s a win-win situation for all involved.

In short, when an organization allows its employees to unleash their voice, the entire organization benefits. In the never-ending search for health and agency, freedom of expression in the workplace is a proven, profitable solution.

Social-Connection

Looking after your Social Connection

Moving from Conflict and Separation to Love and Belonging

As we counted down to the New Year, around the world millions of people were pleased to see the end of what for many has been the most challenging year in recent history, if not in their lifetime, and to welcome in a new year, with hope for something at least a bit more positive.

Observing the mixed emotions and reactions across different platforms including both mainstream and social media, one word seemed to keep coming up as important for people everywhere: Connection.

It shouldn’t be surprising really, that after a year of social distancing, quarantining, isolation and disconnection, that people are yearning to reconnect.

We are social beings after all. If you think back to our caveman times (well, you can imagine at least), we went from being lone homo sapiens wandering the lands, to forming tribes, who had a better chance of survival by coming together to fight the sabre tooth tiger and raise offspring together as a community.

But besides survival, was there another benefit? Perhaps psychological in nature?

Social-Connection

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests that once our basic physiological and safety needs are met, we then seek to fulfil our need for love and belonging. And there it is, we need connection not just for physical survival but for our psychological survival and wellbeing.

Social distancing has meant not just a physical distancing between people, it has also meant an emotional distancing.

Perhaps one of the most distressing phenomena we have observed in the last 12 months has been the increased amount of conflict brought about by world events and the stresses that it creates. I´m sure you can think of examples of the following:

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  • Conflict between family members with different perspectives or different levels of risk tolerance–with some questioning whether we should we have that get together or not, others feeling hurt or rejected when family members are too afraid to see them – sometimes even their own parents or children. Or perhaps they do get together and then argue about the politics of it all.
  • Friends fighting on social media about the definition of pandemic, about how many masks to wear, about the pros and cons of lockdown, quarantines, presidents and prime ministers. We’ve even seen close friends of decades end relationships on the basis of philosophical differences. Of course, the trolls jump in to stir up the drama and discontent.
  • Partners who have become ‘COVID casualties’, no longer able to sustain a romantic relationship, either due to distance or domestic distress.
  • News articles about brawls in the street, fights in the supermarket, not to mention protests, riots and the like.

Indeed, it seems stress levels are at an all-time high, and conflict is at every turn.

Considering Moving to a Deserted Island?

Most people have at some point entertained the idea of escaping to a deserted island (if you could find a plane to get there!). When we keep coming into contact with people in a conflictual space (whether overt or covert) it can make us want to stop contacting and connecting with people at all. When every interaction raises our emotional temperature or requires a greater amount of emotional regulation on our part, no wonder we are feeling burned out by people. When the world and everyone in it is crazy, it is easy to want to withdraw from it all, in a self-imposed quarantine.

The problem is that while getting away from everyone may sound lovely, peaceful and refreshing, and indeed there can be many benefits from periods of self-reflection, it´s not a long term solution. The flip side is loneliness.

Loneliness has been recognized amongst psychologists as a huge concern for mental health, long before we ever knew what social distancing was:

  • A 2018 survey from The Economist and the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF), found that more than two in ten adults in the United States (22%) and the United Kingdom (23%) say they always or often feel lonely, lack companionship, or feel left out or isolated.
  • A Cigna survey revealed that nearly half of Americans always or sometimes feel alone (46%) or left out (47%). 54% said they always or sometimes feel that no one knows them well.
  • And in a nationwide survey from the BBC, a third of Brits said they often or very often feel lonely.

And loneliness is not so much about being physically separate from people, as it is about feeling emotionally separate. That’s why you can be physically in contact with people, yet still feel lonely, or vice versa, oceans apart yet still feel loved and connected.

What are the benefits of Social Connection?

It is well evidenced that we DO benefit from positive social connections, mentally, emotionally, and physically:

  • Quality relationships help maintain brain health, slowing down cognitive decline and reducing risk of dementia.
  • Helps you live longer: a review of 148 studies shows that people with stronger social relationships improve their likelihood of survival by 50%.
  • Reduces susceptibility to inflammation and viral infection, something we should all be interested in right now, and helps us to recover from disease faster.
  • Lowers rates of anxiety and depression.
  • Better emotion regulation skills.

And conversely, lack of social relationships has been found to have a detrimental effect that is just as bad as smoking, high blood pressure or obesity, in terms of their association with illness and death.

What Do We Do About It?

So, if getting away from them all isn’t the answer, what can we do to reduce the conflict, and the so often subsequent distress and create more positive social connections with people?

1. Turn off the News / Social Media?

News and social media are part of the problem. In a previous article of WorkLife we talked about how the media feeds on fear and negativity to capture our attention and sell. Hence, it is clear that it is good to unplug from time to time. The problem is not with the mediums themselves, they are just a tool after all, the problem is that it is practically impossible to control the type of input you are getting. So even the most self-aware person with great mental habits cannot fight against our natural emotional responses to emotional content, nor can we beat the bots who program us for heightened emotional arousal (and therefore sales in advertising).

Is it realistic to stop using these tools altogether in this day and age? Well, those who do, report being happy with the decision, but for many of us this may be quite drastic. And it can have the unwanted side effect of further disconnection from others. So, if you do decide to unplug for a while, make sure you are filling that gap with other, more healthy types of connection.

2. Manage Your Own Responses to People

Yes, people can be jerks. But part of our development as adult human beings is to learn to navigate that. In fact, that is something we strive to teach our children from the first moment they begin to interact with other children.

Emotional intelligence is about being able to empathize, understand others, manage our own emotions, and relationships with people, not to run away and withdraw from others.

It’s good to be humble and remember that we have also been jerks to others at some point in our lives. Wasn’t it nice when others made room for our shortcomings? It can be helpful to step into a place of compassion, remembering that most people are doing the best they can with the resources (emotional or otherwise) they have available. Instead of allowing yourself to get frustrated or angry with others, recognize that they may actually be struggling themselves. This will allow you to approach them with greater kindness, or at the very least, help you to cool down a little while you consider your response.

3. Respect Diversity

Respect for diversity is crucial if you are going to have other people in your life. Not just diversity of gender, race or culture, but diversity of perspectives, beliefs and opinions. Because as soon as you have more than one person in a room,sooner or later differences of opinion, great or small, are unavoidable.

While it can feel great to surround ourselves with like minded people, there are benefits to having people from all walks of life, perspectives and ideologies in your social circle. It makes you a more well-rounded person.

In fact, many people love the sport of engaging in a debate over the merits and pitfalls of different ideas, but this only works if both people enjoy the debate, and it is done with a great deal of respect for the other person as a person, and therefore entitled to their beliefs.

At the end of the day, the world is full of different people. It would be pretty boring if we all thought and behaved the same. So, if you are going to nurture your relationships and social connections, “to each to their own” is a pretty wise philosophy to adopt. Stop trying to change or control everyone else (an impossible task), and immediately a weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

4. Listen to Understand

“But I can’t actually respect their opinion because it is not just different, it’s immoral, evil or downright dangerous!”, you may say. Unfortunately, adding a moral judgement doesn’t help matters. But consider for a moment – is it REALLY likely that your partner/family member / friend / colleague who previously was a regular ‘good’ person with positive intentions, overnight turned into a horrible, reckless person with no care nor concern for others? Or is it more likely that perhaps you´re not really hearing what they are trying to communicate. Nor them, you.

Genuinely try to step into their shoes, and understand what they are saying, even if you already have a counter argument for it in your own head. Where are they coming from? What is leading them to come to a conclusion so different from yours? Get curious. There might even be something to learn here.

Consciously remind yourself that ultimately, they have a good intention. You may disagree on the details but it’s likely that you both want to see the same outcome, you just have different ideas on how to get there.

5. Agree to Disagree

With so many polarizing topics being discussed right now, sometimes it is simply best to agree to disagree. As mentioned, diversity is good, but we don´t want to be so divided we can´t function. With some people it might be best to agree not to discuss certain topics. That is fine too. You can still love each other and bring a lot of positive to each other’s lives. Know which conversations to have with whom, and when.

6. Don’t Make Decisions in a Crisis

Sure, take some time out from people if you need to, but keep it in balance. Don’t write off entire relationships on the basis of one disagreement, or a relatively short period of discontent or distress.

In psychology we have a saying “Don’t make decisions in a crisis” which is pretty good advice in a whole range of scenarios. If you cut off people too easily, or if you only ever have relationships with people who never hurt you, offend you, anger you, disappoint you, or let you down, you will end up a pretty lonely, and bitter, person.

Accept that part of having relationships with other humans means experiencing the lows as well as the highs, accepting people for who they are, even if they are imperfect in your view.

Come Together

Human relationships are complex, messy, and often frustrating, yet they are also necessary, beautiful and meaningful. Make 2021 a year of reconnecting with the people in your life from a place of compassion, love and kindness. There is already enough fear, anger and stress in the world. As has become so abundantly clear – life is short, and we never quite know what is round the corner, so connect in ways that you can be proud of within yourself, so you can live with no regrets.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter Diaz profile

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

Connect with Peter Diaz on:
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Get-people-moving

10 Essential Elements of a Workplace Wellness Strategy – Get People Moving

As Steve Wozniak, the cofounder of Apple, said to me“Take care of your employee’s mental health. It’s a high priority. You’re going to get better performance. Everybody knows that”. And it’s true, when you take care of your employees mental health, businesses perform better. In short, a happy employee is a productive employee.

The good news is that, while happiness is mostly up to the individual, individuals are socially driven. Good environments with good habits set up the stage for individual and collective happiness. Which brings me to element number two – Get People Moving.

Essential Element #2: GET PEOPLE MOVING

What is Get People Moving about? Well, it is about improving the general fitness of individuals. And the number one thing we can do to improve that, is to help people get off their behinds, stand up, and get moving.

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Let’s face it, sitting is the new smoking. It’s REALLY bad for you. And, on top of that, it wrecks the look of the bottom half of your body through muscle and organ atrophy (due to lack of exercise and compression) – Oh! You knew that? I figured you did but often we need a reminder. Other times we just need a kick up the butt, but we avoid getting one because we are sitting down (joke lol).

Joking aside, the question to ask is – How can we get more movement into what we do every day? A company I heard of moved the photocopiers back into a room so people would have to get up and walk to get their printing from time to time. I’ve heard that at Zappos, every 20 minutes or so loud music goes off, people get up and start dancing. What are you willing to do?

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I’ve also heard that many of the world’s most successful leaders and business owners have standing desks with a slow moving treadmill under them. Not only does this help their physical and mental health but it also helps ideas to flow.

Look, I get it, you know this stuff. Heck, you might even be the one telling others all about it! But, does that mean you are doing it? Knowing is one thing, doing is another. But it doesn’t have to be a huge effort. Sometimes the biggest difference is made by smallest and simplest change.

What small change can you make today that will bring the most results to your wellbeing?

By the way, we interviewed Jenny and Craig recently on the topic of physical and mental wellness. They are a brilliant couple that have a great approach to this. You can watch the video of the interview here – https://youtu.be/z0WXG-MQZyE

Our next essential element of a workplace wellness strategy will be the Smiling Policy.

Talk soon!

Author: Peter Diaz
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Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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Mental Health Expert Warns: 8 types of manager you could avoid for a mentally healthy workplace

Bad bosses are to blame for rise in workplace mental health issues

A recent study commissioned by global staffing business, Robert Half, showed that half of workers surveyed quit due to a bad boss. The survey results seem to support the theory that people leave managers, not companies.

Mental Health Expert and the CEO of the Workplace Mental Health Institute, Peter Diaz has warned that bad bosses are contributing to a rise in mental health issues in the workplace. We already know that workplaces are increasingly under more pressure due to the state of the global economy and the level of digital disruption happening across all industries. These pressures are being felt by many people as employees are being asked to do more with less time. At a time when employees need to be further supported given the challenging economic environment, it seems many businesses and managers haven’t got the memo.

Peter Diaz says there are eight types of bad managers you could avoid for a mentally healthy workplace.

1. Rude and Insulting Managers
This type of manager seems to find joy in making others feel less powerful or special. They openly criticise you in front of others and even raise their voice from time to time. Whether they do it on purpose or do it without even realising, this type of behaviour is incredibly destructive. You can let them know how their actions affect you however often this behaviour is attached to narcissistic personalities and those who feel threatened by others. Giving them feedback is unlikely to change their behaviour.

3. Disorganised and Last Minute Managers
This type of manager typically makes their inaction your emergency. I think we have all worked with someone like this and can vouch from personal experience that this type of manager is dangerous and soul destroying. Helping them to better manage themselves and their responsibilities is not your job.

4. Unapproachable and Arrogant Managers
This type of manager is difficult to work with. Often staff will avoid dealing directly with this type of manager because they find them so intimidating. Often when these managers do engage, they are always right and tend to gloat about it. This is a personality and style issue. You can can do your research and work out how to crack their ‘self-loved’ veneer – but it can be a challenging task.

5. Managers Pick and Play with Favourites
Unfortunately, these types of managers are everywhere. They overtly pick favourites and these people seem to get away with blue murder including not doing their job. They also tend to be the ones put up for promotion and other opportunities. Other staff often end up carrying the load which burns people out and leaves them feeling undervalued, underpaid and exploited. You can try to pamper the boss with praise and sell your soul to get into their good books – but if you are a person with a moral compass this usually isn’t the best option.

6. Micromanager
This type of manager will give you things to do and then tell you how to do it and check every aspect of your progress. Most capable staff will only put up with this behaviour for a short period of time before leaving or exploding. The key is to build confidence and trust fast while establishing mechanisms to keep your manager constantly updated. This tends to add so much work to an already busy load that most people move on to other roles to get away from the micromanagement.

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7. Too Busy and Unavailable Managers
We are all busy in the year 2019 – but the people we should be most available for, are our staff. If it means that managers have to get to work earlier, or lock in staff time that can not be double booked, then this is what must happen. Managers who find themselves too busy for their staff are not managers, they are simply absent colleagues. Staff need engagement with their manager, they need to be able to access their manager to discuss and resolve issues and seek guidance on work related matters.

8. Distressed and Overwhelmed Managers
Bosses are human too. When they are distressed and overwhelmed, they can become a risk to the mental health of their team. Self care is very important for bosses too. Here you can encourage your boss to care for themselves. Do things they enjoy and have regular small breaks throughout the day to improve productivity.

Bad managers can cause mental health issues in their workplace, and through bad management they can also worsen issues staff may be experiencing. If we can better equip businesses and managers to understand and deal with mental health issues in the workplace, we can save lives – many lives. Importantly we can also help managers to be better managers.

Peter Diaz and Emi Golding have written and released a book to provide organisations and managers with practical assistance on dealing with mental health in the workplace. Their much anticipated book is called: Mental Wealth: An Essential Guide to Workplace Mental Health and Wellbeing. This latest workplace mental health book provides important guidance for all organisations, leaders and managers on mental health in the workplace and how to build resilient and meaningful cultures and processes that enable organisations to support and appropriately manage those with mental health issues.

It is more important than ever that every business, organisation and manager across the country is positioned to deal with mental health issues and understand the warning signs. We all need to step up and ensure we are taking care of people. The only thing that gets us through hard times is people. We need to help people and support them to cope and to be resilient.

The Workplace Mental Health Institute is the leading peak body for research, advice and training relating to workplace mental health.

The book is available for purchase from a number of different outlets like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Powell’s, Indigo, IndieBound and many other bookstores worldwide and online.

Please visit https://thementalwealthguide.com for more info on this book.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter-Diaz-AuthorPeter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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WARM-First-Aid-for-Mental-Health

First Aid for Mental Health Problems – W.A.R.M.

So you think someone you know maybe experiencing a mental health problem? Then the big question is ‘so what do I do? How do I respond now?

There’s no perfect thing that will always ‘work’ 100% of the time, because people are people, and we are all different, but there are definitely some clear principles, that are considered best practice when responding to someone who might be becoming unwell.

We’ve put together an acronym to help you remember the steps. And it’s called WARM.

It’s a reminder that as you do each of the actions in these steps, you are dealing with a person, a human, being, so be warm and friendly in your approach. Remember to use good body language and non-verbal communication that shows you really care. (If you are a manager, we encourage you to look into running a Workplace Mental Health Masterclass for Leaders in your workplace to make sure your team has the necessary skills. In the meantime, you might want to check the blog ‘How to Ask ‘R U OK?’)

WARM-First Aid for Mental Health

Lets have a look at the WARM steps:

W stands for Watch – look for the signs and symptoms. Be observant.
It doesn’t mean that you have to be going about your day, nervously staring at everyone and looking for signs and symptoms. If you do that, you will start to think everyone has them! But it does mean to just be aware. If you see some things, and start to be concerned, don’t ignore it.

A stands for ASK – Approach the person directly. Ask them. This is the simplest, and best way to respond. By going directly to the person it avoids getting in a situation where you are talking about the person or making decisions about the person without having all the information and without them being involved. By going directly to the person, it can also help to minimise any fear or paranoia they may have bout office gossip.

So how do you ask then? (We deal with these topics more in detail in the Mental Health Essentials course)

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We usually recommend, that if you are able to choose your timing, then before lunchtime tends to be a good idea. That means that after this conversation the person can have a bit of a break before they go back to work.

The conversation might not be a big in depth one, but we want to be prepared just in case it does bring things up for the person.

R stands for Refer – refer on to professional and other help. Here, it is important not to be too eager to jump in with ‘suggestions’ as to what the person should do. Remember, each person will have their own view of what is going on, and the action you think is best, may not resonate with them at all.

So again, questions are best. You can ask things like ‘have you seen anyone about this, or done anything to get some help with it?’. It is quiet possible that they are already getting some professional help.

Or you can ask them ‘what do you think we could do to get some advice with this?’. Notice the ‘we’ language, helps the person to feel like they are not all on their own with this. You’re in it together.

Or you can ask who or what has been helpful in the past? When the person identifies what they think will be useful, they are much more likely to follow through and actually seek help, than if you told them where to go.

Of course, if they really cant think of anything, then you might like to make a couple of suggestions. Make sure to give a few different options, from a few different filters. For example ‘have you thought about seeing a doctor, or a counselor, or even a life coach?’.

Your aim here is to make sure the person knows what options they have available to them, and if possible has agreed to take some steps to get help.

M stands for Monitor – Finally, the last step is Monitor. Check in with them over the next few days or weeks, and continue supporting them by being available to chat or to help with any practical assistance they may need. If they have said they will get some help, just check in and ask how it went. Keep these check-ins casual, and make sure you also talk with them about other, non mental health related things too. You don’t want all your conversations to be about mental health!

So that’s the WARM response. Easy to remember, and easy to do. As long as you follow those steps, you have gone a long way to assisting someone with a mental health problem.

It doesn’t necessarily mean they WILL get help, or that they WILL get better. But remember they are responsible for what they choose to do. You have done your part to help, and followed the best practice we have for responding to someone who may be experiencing a mental health problem. It also means that this person now knows they are not alone. This is very powerful.

If you are ready to get practical, real skills around this subject, our Mental Health Essentials course does just that over one day. Perfect for workplaces of any sort.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter-Diaz-AuthorPeter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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Psychological-Injury-at-Workplace

What Most People Don’t Know About Psychological Injury at Work

Traditionally, when speaking of Workplace Health and Safety, psychological injury is not something we thought about. But, as many professionals have realized lately, a Workplace Health and Safety strategy is severely incomplete without taking psychological injury into account. (for help creating a Mental Health Workplace Strategy visit www.wmhi.com.au) Psychological injury is also known as psychiatric injury, and it includes all mental, emotional and physical injuries acquired from the place of employment. Employees that suffer from a psychological injury due to an employer’s negligence can take legal steps against their employers, so it is essential to create a safe working environment to prevent such occurrences. Legally, it’s no longer ok to ignore the psychological safety of employees. Managers are now liable.

Yet, how do we know if an employee is at risk of psychological injury at work? One symptom of employees that are suffering from psychological injuries is a noticeable and measurable reduction in their production or in the way they handle, or their inability to handle, emotional issues. For example, they may become acutely defensive even when feedback given in a reasonable manner. Unfortunately, many businesses refuse to recognize that a place of business can have a severe psychological impact on its employees. However, considering that employees in full-time employment spend a significant portion of their time at work,it is clear that a workplace plays a vital role in an employee’s life. As well as their psychological state.


Read more on psychological injury at work and recovery…


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Traditionally, psychological injury was thought to be brought about by stressors in the workplace such as extremely high workloads, difficult employees, unrealistic deadlines or unrewarding work. Under this assumption, it was thought that a combination of stressors in a place of business increased the risk of psychological injury significantly. However, according to recent studies, other crucial factors can affect or cause mental injury at work. According to these studies, relationships at work and the level of support given to employeesis more likely to cause psychological injuries than anything else. In this regard, the less supported, the less valued and the less understood an employee feels at work, the greater the risk of a psychological injury.

This not only indicates that a change of attitude and behavior is required from employers;it also emphasizes the need to establish interpersonal relationships with employees. A positive relationship between employers and their employees creates a platform to handle conflicts well, which reduces the number of psychological injury claims made by employees. Additionally, through positive work relationships, collaborative behavior is encouraged, which promotes the establishment of considerations that can regulate the number of psychological injury cases that may arise.

A business that supports its employees through flexible arrangements makes employees feel valued, which encourages productivity in the personal and business lives of employees. To reduce conflict brought about by psychological injuries, it is essential for employers to create a safe work environment that is free of discriminatory practices and one that fosters positive work relationships between employees of all levels. By instituting training, campaigns and prevention strategies, employees can become more engaged, happier and less inclined to take legal action.

It takes effort, from both the employers and their employees to reduce the instances of injury. But, ultimately, it’s the employers responsibility to take the initiative to create a psychologically safe environment at work.

We help management create psychologically safe environments, and minimise psychological injury, with our many programs. In particular, our flagship course the Workplace Mental Health Masterclass for Leaders. Check it out and see if it can help you too.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter-Diaz-AuthorPeter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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Mental Health and Productivity. Why Managers Need Mental Health Courses

Workplace Mental health is an issue of grave concern. In fact, it is one of the leading causes of absenteeism from work. Mental health problems at work can cause immense suffering to those experiencing them, and those around them. As such, there is an overwhelming need for managers, business owners and employees to address the issue of mental health at work. Managers particularly should play a significant role in promoting mental health among employees. However, it is essential that managers receive the right support to assist them to handle this task efficiently. If we are to empower supervisors and staff to make a positive impact on mental health it will involve giving them the proper training from industry experts and professionals through mental health courses.

A course on mental health would create awareness and understanding among managers, as well as teach them important lessons such as how to categorise common mental health disorders. Besides learning how to classify the signs and symptoms of mental suffering, they would also be counseled on practical strategies that can support members of their organisation.

The major benefits of taking a mental health course include:

  1. Gaining the ability to understand and appreciate the stigma surrounding mental health at work.
  2. Giving employees the confidence to handle clients or workmates suffering from mental health conditions in a humane manner.
  3. Awarding employees and business owners the opportunity to understand the legal requirements surrounding workplace mental health care.
  4. Teaching people techniques and strategies for managing employees with mental conditions.
  5. Improving one’s understanding of stress and how it impacts morale at work.
  6. Reflecting on our own attitude towards mental health problems. If the attitude is a negative one, then we can take measures to change and improve.
  7. Allowing participants to learn possible interventions for workplace mental illnesses.

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The outcome of a good mental health training course should be to help management and their employees create a work environment where personal resilience is enhanced, and the comfort and safety of all employees is protected. This will enable the workforce to respond effectively to the challenges that arise while working, which in turn will enhance their confidence, allowing them to produce their very best.

Organisations often lose out on the expertise of capable workers due to mismanagement. Knowing what to do and how to manage the mental health of teams can be tricky. For most people suffering from mental health conditions, their last resort is often, sadly, a choice between a decline of their mental health or abandoning their jobs. Employers have a duty of care to their employees and investing in a course in mental health is the best way to secure the mental health of a workforce. The training should be practical and applicable so that the psychological safety and wellbeing of the whole organisation and its employees is enhanced. Good workplace mental health is good business and at the Workplace Mental Health Institute we want to help.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter-Diaz-AuthorPeter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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