Mental Health Strategy 2 | Workplace Mental Health Institute

What Is Trauma Dumping?

03/07/2025

It’s more common than you think — and it can catch anyone off guard

You ever had someone hit you with something really personal, totally out of the blue?

Like, you’re in the middle of a normal conversation — maybe talking about what you did over the weekend — and suddenly they’re unloading something heavy. Proper heavy. It leaves you stunned, not sure what to say. You want to be kind, but you didn’t sign up for this chat, not right now anyway.

That right there? That’s what people are calling trauma dumping.

It’s Not Just Venting

Don’t get this wrong — talking about what’s going on for us is important. It helps. Everyone needs to offload now and then. That’s totally normal.

But trauma dumping is different. It’s when someone shares something big — something emotionally intense — but they don’t check in first. No warning. No “hey, can I share something with you?” Just straight into it.

And the thing is, it’s usually not mean-spirited. It’s often coming from a place of pain or overwhelm. But even so, it can feel like being dragged into someone else’s storm when you were just out for a walk.

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How It Shows Up

There’s no one way it looks, but here are a few you might recognise:

A mate sends you a massive message in the middle of the night, laying everything out without checking in.

A colleague somehow manages to turn every lunch break into a deep emotional download.

Someone you’ve just met starts talking about really traumatic experiences, and you weren’t expecting it at all.

They probably don’t mean to make things uncomfortable. They just need to talk. But if the other person isn’t ready or in the right headspace, it can be a lot. Too much, even.

Why It Can Be a Problem — Especially at Work

Let’s be real — most of us are already carrying a fair bit. Workplaces can be stressful enough as it is.

So when emotional boundaries get crossed — even with good intentions — it can wear people down. It can create tension in teams. It can make people uncomfortable, unsure how to respond, or simply not want to engage anymore.

This kind of sharing:

Can leave others feeling drained or helpless
Might blur professional lines
Often doesn’t help the sharer feel any better in the long run
Can stop people from seeking proper support, because they’re offloading in the wrong spaces

That’s why things like mental health training and trauma-informed practices are so important in workplaces now. It’s not about shutting people down. It’s about having the tools to navigate these moments safely — for everyone involved.

A Better Way to Share

So no — the answer isn’t “don’t talk about stuff.” Not at all. The answer is being mindful about how we share, and when.

A simple check-in makes a huge difference:

“Hey, I’ve got something a bit full-on I’d like to talk about. Are you in a space for that?”

That one sentence shows respect. It gives the other person a chance to say yes, no, or maybe later. That’s how you keep trust strong — even when talking about tough things.

If You’ve Done It Before — It’s Okay

Most people have. Especially in moments when we’re overwhelmed and don’t know who else to turn to. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re human.

What matters is what we learn from those moments — and how we do things differently next time.

If you’ve been on the receiving end, you’re allowed to say something too:

“Hey, I really care, but I’m not sure I’ve got the capacity to hold this right now.”

That’s not cold. That’s honest. And that’s healthy.

Final Thought

We talk a lot about being open and honest — and that’s good. But no one really teaches us how to do that well. Not at home. Not at work. Not growing up.

So we’re all learning. All of us.

When we get it right — when there’s trust, timing, and care — sharing can be one of the most powerful things we do. It brings people closer. It builds connection. It heals.

Let’s just remember… not everything needs to be shared all at once. And not with everyone.

Author: Peter Diaz

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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The Rise of ‘Quiet Quitting’ and What It Reveals About Workplace Mental Health

25/06/2025

Back in the day, I found myself sitting at my desk, staring at my computer screen, feeling completely drained. I had been working late nights, skipping lunches, and saying “yes” to every request that came my way. On the surface, I was the model employee—reliable, hardworking, and always available. But inside, I was exhausted, disengaged, and quietly counting down the hours until I could log off. I wasn’t alone in this feeling, though I didn’t realise it at the time. What I was experiencing was an early version of what we now call “quiet quitting.”

For those who haven’t heard the term, quiet quitting doesn’t actually mean quitting your job. It’s about doing the bare minimum required by your role—no more going above and beyond, no more hustling for recognition, no more sacrificing personal time for work. It’s a subtle but powerful shift in how people approach their jobs, and it’s become a hot topic in conversations about workplace culture and mental health.

What’s Driving the Trend?

Quiet quitting isn’t just about laziness or disengagement. It’s often a response to burnout, lack of recognition, or the feeling that no matter how hard you work, it’s never enough. According to a 2022 Gallup survey*, only 21% of employees worldwide feel engaged at work, and 44% report experiencing high levels of stress. When people feel undervalued or overworked, they naturally pull back to protect their mental health.

Research also shows that the pandemic played a significant role in this shift. A study published in the Harvard Business Review (2021)* found that remote work blurred the boundaries between professional and personal life, leading to increased burnout. Many employees realized they were sacrificing too much for their jobs and decided to set firmer boundaries.

The Mental Health Connection

Quiet quitting is, at its core, a coping mechanism. It’s a way for employees to reclaim some sense of control over their lives. But it also highlights a deeper issue: workplaces aren’t doing enough to support mental health.

A report by the World Health Organization (WHO) in 2022* revealed that depression and anxiety cost the global economy an estimated $1 trillion per year in lost productivity. Yet, many companies still treat mental health as a secondary concern. Employees are expected to push through stress, exhaustion, and even burnout without adequate support.

This lack of support can have serious consequences. A study by the American Psychological Association (APA)* found that chronic stress at work is linked to a host of health problems, including heart disease, depression, and weakened immune function. When employees feel unsupported, they’re more likely to disengage—or quietly quit.

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What Can Employers Do?

The rise of quiet quitting is a wake-up call for employers. It’s a sign that the old ways of working—long hours, constant availability, and a “hustle at all costs” mentality—are no longer sustainable. To address this, companies need to prioritize mental health and create a culture where employees feel valued and supported.

Here are a few steps employers can take:

Normalize Boundaries: Encourage employees to take regular breaks and disconnect after work hours if they need it.

Recognize Efforts: Acknowledge the work your employees do. Let them know what good performance looks like and praise them for it.

Set a Clear Vision: Ensure all employees understand the company’s goals and how their work fits into achieving them.

Provide Mental Health Resources: Offer counseling, stress management programs, and resilience training to help employees manage their mental health.

Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space where employees can express their concerns without fear of judgment or retaliation.

A Shift in Perspective

Quiet quitting isn’t just a trend—it’s a reflection of how work culture is evolving. Employees are no longer willing to sacrifice their well-being for the sake of their jobs. They’re demanding a healthier, more meaningful approach to work, and employers need to listen.

For me, that moment of staring at my computer screen was a turning point. I realized I needed to set clear goals, boundaries and prioritize my mental health. It wasn’t easy, but it made a world of difference. And while I’m no longer quietly quitting, I understand why so many people are.

The conversation around quiet quitting isn’t just about work—it’s about how we value ourselves and our time. It’s a reminder that we’re human beings, not machines, and that our well-being matters.

What are your thoughts on quiet quitting? Have you experienced it or seen it in your workplace? Let’s start a conversation.

At WMHI, we’re committed to supporting workplace mental health through our training solutions. Our programs are designed to help employees thrive by equipping them with the tools to manage stress, build resilience, and foster a healthier work-life balance. Because when employees feel supported, everyone benefits.

References:

Gallup (2022). State of the Global Workplace Report.
Harvard Business Review (2021). How the Pandemic Has Changed Workers’ Attitudes.
World Health Organization (2022). Mental Health in the Workplace.
American Psychological Association (APA). Stress in the Workplace.

Read the latest issue of the WorkLife magazine – Building Safe Workplaces

Time To Stop Your Social Media Addiction From Killing Your Career & Relationships

15/07/2021

Social networking sites have become the cornerstone of communicating in our modern era and an important way of connecting with other people. Platforms such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and TikTok allow users to create a sense of belonging and redefine their way of being in the world. As of the end of 2020, a digital 2020 report published by We Are social Inc. mentioned that over 3.7 billion people are actively using the different types of social media platforms worldwide. Moreover, most of these platforms provide people with information, career interests and interactive forms through virtual communities. Despite the positive vibes these platforms generate, there have been recent developments that have raised questions.

Alarms have been raised about the possibility of a type of social media addiction, causing adverse effects on users and those in contact with them. Notably, the purpose of this article is not to outrightly declare that public social media networks are harmful since they have some benefits. We want to look at the potential negative impacts, the issue of social media addiction, its symptoms, and the best treatment methods.

What is Social Media Addiction?

We refer to social media addiction as the relentless urge to use public online platforms even at the cost of real-life relationships and activities. Even though experts are yet to produce an official “social media addiction disorder”, the dangers of public networks are rising at an alarming rate daily. A Nobel-winning prize study conducted in 2014 showed that teenagers’ excessive use of technology caused massive disruptions to their mental and physical health, weight, sleep patterns, exercise levels, and, most importantly, their schoolwork. Young girls seem to be at a higher risk.

The same study showed 40% of the young adults and 21% of adults were using online public networks even while in the bathroom. A recent survey conducted shows that social media addiction on users clocked a mean of 37% from a sample size of 1390 persons. This data would mean that 1 out of 3 people in a group is a potential addict.

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How Public Platforms Affect the Brain

According to Harvard University’s recent study, social networking sites affect the same part of the brain that gets ignited by addictive substances. Our brain has different sections, and for our case, we will focus on the reward section. This section comprises messenger pathways affected by the many decisions we make and the sensations we experience.

Whenever you experience something rewarding or inject any addictive substance into your system, the neurons located in the primary dopamine-producing areas are activated. When these neurons are activated, they cause dopamine levels to rise, thus sending messages to the brain to receive a “reward”, which is also similar to the experience produced by an addictive drug. Upon receiving a notification such as a “mention” or a “like”, the brain also receives information to release dopamine. Once produced and transmitted, dopamine causes the subject to feel pleasure. Public platforms tend to provide an endless number of instant rewards in the form of attention from other platform users.

Addiction to Facebook and other public platforms activates the brain’s reward section, which doubles when individuals speak about themselves. People tend to talk about themselves around 32 to 45% of the time in an actual life situation. Contrary to this fact, people tend to talk about themselves or show off their life’s accomplishments on social media platforms almost 82% of the time. Whenever a user posts a picture and receives positive social feedback, the brain releases dopamine which is regarded as a reward to the behavior and glorifies the social media habit.

Public networking sites are problematic when users view these sites as a vital coping technique that relieves loneliness, depression, and stress. Especially if users perceive social media as giving them more rewards than real-life experiences, forcing them to engage with these sites persistently.

Eventually, they get caught up in denial leading to various interpersonal problems such as ignoring work or school responsibilities, real-life relationships, and even physical and mental health needs. The continuous use of these platforms increases their level of dependency.

The Signs and Symptoms of Social Media Addiction

The Signs of Social Media Addiction

Most users need to be wary of the signs mentioned below in their earlier stages. Users’ alertness will go a long way to help neutralize the addiction faster and before a stronger addiction appears. If any of these signs and symptoms feel too familiar to you, act fast! The sooner you act to stop social media addiction on its tracks, the easier it will be for you to either avoid it altogether or minimize its impact and harm. It’ll also make it easier to stop in the future.

Sharing Every Activity, you Undertake Anytime

By now am sure your mind is racing on that friend who you can keep track of all their minute moves. Alex, a renowned author of the book “The Distraction Addiction,” wrote that people are interested in the amount of fun they have or what they do online rather than what they do in the natural/physical world. We all desire to share our incredible experiences during the last vacations or social gatherings we attended. However, distractions caused by our smartphones when attempting to get the perfect shot makes us miss on more than what we gain.

Knowing a lot of Social Media Information about People who you have little information on them in the Real World

Pang, an Asian Scientist, reported that a vital indicator of social media addiction is having a vast knowledge of people’s social lives compared to real life. What they do, what they ate for breakfast, and which shop they get their merchandise from are readily available online. Such information usually open doors to a long-term intimacy, often not achievable with real-life friends.

Notably, knowledge about an individual without physically meeting them explains the time we spend on their social network platforms. Scholastic study conducted by Mr. Ayeni reported that 90% of teens using public networks concur that a large portion of social media users share too much information about themselves, their loved ones, and their surroundings. Therefore, the million-dollar question is, why do they do it?

Preparing Recipes and Cooking Clips to Share on Social Media Platforms

When making your finger-licking salad for lunch, between enjoying the salad peacefully or sharing it on your page, which one is more important? Furthermore, with the popularity and mass following on these sites, the food’s visual aspect overrules the practical one, eating. This notion has led to improper planning on the meals we wish to prepare, inappropriate shopping for ingredients which eventually leads to mass food wastage.

Feeling Uncomfortable when you Fail to Access your Phone

Have you experienced dissatisfaction when you fail to control Instagram when asked to stop at the traffic lights? Or are you unable to scroll through Facebook before you go to bed? Research has shown that an average person tends to check their phones every 12 minutes while one of them in every 10 persons tends to check theirs after every 4 minutes. Inability to access their phones leads to anxiety, which shows how dependent we are on social media platforms.

Unhappiness Caused from Comparing Yourself with Social Media Personas

Jealousy is the other sign that depicts the dangerous dimensions that social media dependence has placed over your life. Having the freedom to select what we desire to share online has opened the floodgates to creation of online personas. Even though we get to see a fraction of their real world online, we often choose to throw that fact under the bus and continue stalking them. Whenever you begin feeling jealous over your friends’ celebrations, homes, cars, and body measurements, your public network addition has probably gone overboard.

The Symptoms of Social Media Addiction

Social media addiction shows the following symptoms

Lack of concentration on physical activities
Feeling guilty repeatedly
Sleep disorders
Overweight and obese
Anxiety and dishonesty
Low self-esteem and loneliness
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS): This condition causes numbness, weakness or tingling on your hand. This condition may be caused by spending too much time on your phone
Depression: Due to lack of motivation resulting in low productivity at work and poor school performance

Notably, many of these symptoms are majorly caused by unrealistic expectations that social media users subject themselves to. Moreover, they tend to survive on pretense of living a glamourous lifestyle showcased by the affluent social media users.

The Plausible Ways for Breaking Social Media Addiction

The only way to salvage yourself from social media addiction is by first accepting you have this problem. You tend to discover that you are deeply affected if you are constantly asked to put down your phone or when your family members complain of your unavailability or repeatedly miss or come late for scheduled activities since you were engaged in social media platforms. Breaking the addiction chain cannot happen by abrupt abstinence from online activities, although you can begin by setting limits. Moreover, you can control your internet usage by following these steps.

Deletion of unnecessary mobile chatting applications
Dedicating your time to other social activities or hobbies
Deactivating the push notifications to lessen the traffic on alerts. This reduces the urges to check your feeds frequently
Proper Allocation of time for online activities: You can indulge yourself in other productive activities such as reading a book, workouts or taking walks
Maximum allocation of your free time to your family members and friends since they are the first respondents to most of your social needs
You can also seek professional help if you cannot manage your addiction from an individual perspective or within your circle

Illness and Antisocial Behaviors Associated with Social Media

In recent years, heavy dependence on social media has caused mental illnesses to rise to new prevalence in the forms of voyeurism, paranoia, antisocial tendencies, and narcissism. Moreover, the Fear of Missing Out or FOMO could be among the pacesetters of most inappropriate behaviors posted on social media feeds. Also, there is a group that dwells on the shock factor, and the more the mass that reacts to the post, the more satisfaction is derived. This gives room to reinforce the behavior.

Some of the traits that are regarded as antisocial include the inability to be remorseful for wrongdoings, inability to show empathy, complete disregard to other people’s feelings and bullying. Furthermore, the prevalence of antisocial traits has dominated the internet, especially after the breakout of the novel coronavirus. Daily we witness horrible acts of violence, cyberbullying, racial abuses, self-mutilation with extremities leading to loss of life. All these acts can be attributed to antisocial behaviors spreading across the internet.

How to Use Social Media Safely

Among the wake-up calls to mitigate public network additions is when you begin experiencing frustrations on the number of chatting apps on your phone. At this point, to salvage your wellbeing, here are a few tips for consideration.

Learn to live in the Moment

Even though the urge to post fun activities online becomes pressing with time, allow yourself to give in occasionally. However, never let these urges overshadow the actual feeling of living these moments and enjoying real-time experiences.

Follow Feeds that Brings you Gratification

This will help ensure that the extent of exposure is only to people and things that generate positive vibes while you are online. Furthermore, you will get essential takeaways, which can be applied in different situations, such as conflict resolution.

Avoid Making Comparisons with Online Personas

When scrolling through people’s content, always keep in mind that what they share only depicts a small portion of their lives. Hence, comparing yourself to their online lives will create a feeling of inadequacy, leading to unhealthy obsessions while you continue stalking them.

Always Filter your Content Before Posting

Learn to post content that best fits all social groups in society. This will prevent creating online chaos while maintaining the status quo and passing your message effectively.

Conclusion

Public networking sites have become increasingly omnipresent today. However, this should not give room for addiction or inappropriate usage of the platform. Ensure you set clear boundaries and prioritize your time efficiently to prevent over reliance on social media.

References:
wearesocial.com/uk/blog/2022/01/digital-2022-another-year-of-bumper-growth-2
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7366938
sites.harvard.edu/sitn/2018/05/01/dopamine-smartphones-battle-time
academia.edu/39618314/Social_Media_Addiction_Symptoms_And_Way_Forward

Author: Peter Diaz

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Advanced Psychological Self-Defence

19/02/2021

Protecting Yourself from the Expert Manipulation of Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Other Difficult People

Have you ever been in a relationship where, for some reason, you couldn’t quite figure out, you felt as if you were being controlled or restricted in some way? A relationship where you started to doubt yourself, your actions, and your emotions, or felt as if something just wasn’t right? If you have, there’s an excellent chance that you were being manipulated.

What, Exactly, is Manipulation?

While it does have a negative connotation, manipulation is a natural, effective and useful tool that helps us survive and thrive in society. We start using unconscious manipulation as infants and small children. For example, when they get hungry, babies cry. This manipulates their parents into doing what they need, giving them food. Children will often do the same thing once they realize how powerful their cries are, for example, using them to manipulate their parents into purchasing them a toy.

This type of manipulation is, truth be told, relatively normal behavior. All children do it, so the last thing you want to do is judge them or deride them too harshly. At some point, with discipline, most children grow out of self-obsessed manipulation and mature into adults who are considerate of others, kind and don’t need to use manipulation to get what they want or need; they ask. But it doesn’t always work out that way and, for some, immature manipulation traits can continue into adulthood.

When adults use wanton manipulation, however, it often is emotionally and psychologically dangerous and damaging. That’s because, at its core, manipulation is a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) form of control. Control of an individual, a group, team, or organization, or even an entire nation. When a car salesperson pushes you to make a purchase, they’re trying to control both you and the situation to create an outcome that favors them (i.e., more sales). The problem is when their wanting to sell the car is more important to them, than your need to buy one.

You can walk away from that type of situation, of course, but it’s not as easy if, say, the person manipulating you is your partner, a colleague, or someone in power, and they’re doing it to ‘keep you in line’ or otherwise derive some other benefit from your abject obedience. In short, manipulation is a typical human trait that, when selfishly abused, can be quite damaging.

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The Different Types of Manipulators (And Why They Do It)

Manipulation covers a whole range of different scenarios and situations, from more ´mild´ forms, to those that are much more damaging and dangerous. To help us clarify, we´ve identified at least 3 types of manipulators:

Immature – like a child, they don’t intend harm, but are merely self centred
Entitled – they believe they deserve things to be their way, and don’t want to cause harm, but will justify hurting others, to get what they want.
Pathological – they don´t care who gets hurt, or even enjoy causing harm to others. This includes sociopaths, who may act impulsively without thinking how others may be affected, and psychopaths who are cold and calculating and may even play along within societal rules to achieve their own objectives, but with zero regard for human life or emotions.

Identifying the Obvious (and Not So Obvious) Signs Of Manipulation

Some of us are very trusting people, and when we meet someone new, it may not even cross our minds that they could have ulterior motives, or not be completely trustworthy. You might dive into a new romance, friendship, or business partnership assuming that the person has none other than the best intentions, only to find a little while down the track that things start to go pear shaped.

If you´re nodding your head here, it´s likely that you may have been burnt before in this respect. You´ve probably had friends and family tell you that you´re too trusting or naïve. And they could be right.

On the other hand, some people (usually those who have been burnt too many times before!) err in the other direction, and could be very critical and closed off, even suspicious towards someone new.

As with all things, a bit of balance is called for. It is worthwhile as you are getting to know someone that you remain aware, but not hypervigilant, to the way they behave and communicate.

To know if you’re being manipulated, you need to know the signs and, if you will, symptoms of unhealthy manipulation. Like the early days of the flu, things won’t ‘feel right’ when you’re being manipulated. That’s the best time to nip it in the bud, frankly, so knowing what to look for (and all the many signs of manipulation) is vital.

Things Don’t ‘Add Up.’

One of the most common signs you’re being manipulated is when situations and circumstances don’t add up or make sense. If your new partner is trying to convince you, for example, to sign away your home to them so that you can save money on a new mortgage. That doesn’t make any sense and would be a big red flag that they may be manipulating you.

You Start To Question or Doubt Yourself

Some manipulators are very good at what they do. So good, in fact, that they can start to make you doubt yourself and start seeing things their way. Their manipulations can make you feel as if you’re going a little crazy as your brain tries to figure out what’s going on.

Something Feels Off (Your ‘Gut’ Is Telling You To Be Careful)

Knowing how to feel and trust your ‘gut feeling’ is essential to sniffing out a manipulator. It’s a little feeling that says ‘hey,’ this doesn’t seem right’ or ‘get the heck out of here, this is a bad situation´. If something feels ‘off’ to you, there’s a good chance it is and that you need to extricate yourself from the situation.

Understand the Common Manipulation Strategies

People who use manipulation for evil or immoral intent have specific tried-and-true strategies they use and use often. Knowing these strategies will make it easier for you to spot if you’re in danger of becoming the victim of a predator, sociopath or psychopath.

Initial Grooming and Creating Trust

This strategy involves being nice to you and creating a feeling of trust and security. It can happen quickly (within a few hours) or over a longer period of time (weeks or months).

Playing Your Emotions With a Sad Story

Human empathy is an excellent thing, no doubt. Manipulators know this and use sad stories to hit your empathy button. Portraying themselves as weak or a victim, ironically, is how they manipulate their victims.

Foot in the Door

A classic strategy of persuasion: I ask you to make a small concession, to which you reluctantly agree. Like the unwelcome houseguest who asks to stay for ´just a couple of weeks, til I get on my feet´ and is still living with you (rent free) a year later.

Separating You From Those Who Love and Care About You

This is one of the most wicked forms of manipulation, putting a wedge between their victim and those who care about them (and who may alert you to their ways). They create drama where there is none, making their victim believe that their family or friends have shunned them (or worse).

Praise or Putting You Up On a Pedestal

This is a prevalent strategy used by sociopaths. By showering compliments, they overwhelm their victim’s gut feelings, leaving them highly vulnerable. Manipulators have used this technique to steal from people for eons, preying on their victim’s vanity or lack of self-confidence. Praising you for following their orders or giving them what they want

Ridicule and Sarcasm

Praise can often be alternated with ridicule and sarcasm, designed to avoid addressing your concerns (no matter how legitimate), create shame and self doubt, and deter onlookers from even considering your perspective or supporting you.

Twisting the Facts

This can be the most frustrating, but sometimes you won´t even know it is happening. This can include exaggerating or understating the facts, bias, outright lying, feigning ignorance, making excuses, leaving out important details, using language to mislead, and so on.

Reciprocity & Guilt

They may go out of their way to do something for you. It could be just that they are nice, but beware, if they try to convince you that you ‘owe’ them, they’re using reciprocity as a manipulative tool. Or they may flat out blame you when something they have done doesn´t turn out well. This is where it starts to take a horrible turn and can often lead to…

Fear, Threats and Intimidation

Creating fear, threatening violence or to reveal intimate knowledge is a potent strategy and used by sociopaths and psychopaths frequently. Some will veil their threats (however thinly) with storytelling. For example, by telling their victim a story about “a lady who went to the cops but later disappeared and was never heard from again” or “imagine what would happen if your family found out about what you did¨.

Wearing you Down

All of these strategies can play with your mind and emotions to such an extent that after some time, you simply get worn down and end up giving in to the bully.

How to Protect Yourself

The very best way to prevent yourself from becoming a victim of a sociopath or psychopath’s manipulation is to nip the problem in the bud as soon as it starts.

While most people are good, well meaning people just trying to do their best in this world, there will always be a small percentage,who are willing to trample on other people´s rights to achieve their own outcomes and agendas. Some of these are even wily or charismatic enough to make it into positions of power.

When it comes to protecting yourself, you really only have two options:

Walk Away– If someone is trying to manipulate you, your best bet is to disengage completely and walk away. It might not always be possible, of course, but if it is, that’s your best course of action.
Learn how psychological manipulation operates so you can spot it coming, and avoid you or your loved ones falling victim to it.

Either way, don´t allow yourself to be manipulated. The costs are simply too high. And when you see signs of psychological manipulation at play, whenever possible, speak out about it. If you don´t, you may find yourself or someone else in a world of trouble not too far down the road.

In our online learning course ´Psychological Self Defense´ we show you 18 different strategies you can use to handle a master manipulator, sociopath or psychopath, and how to protect yourself both in physically, mentally and emotionally.

Author: Peter Diaz

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Read the WorkLife eMag February 2021 Edition – Social Connection

Caring For The Carers

11/02/2021

Mental Health And Wellbeing Tips For Health Professionals (and everyone else too!)

Sarah is a caring 36-year-old nurse working long hours at the local hospital. Sarah is also a wife and a mother to two gorgeous kids. Yet, Sarah is at her wit’s end. You could say that ‘her candle has burned at both ends’. Sarah is exhausted. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. She feels burnout. She remembers fondly the time she started her nursing studies. She loved the idea of becoming a nurse. These days she shudders at the thought of having to get off the bed to go to work. See, the shifts are just too long, the demand too great and her life seems an endless procession of chores, even with the help of her husband and the grandparents. But what could Sarah do?

Sad as it is, Sarah’s plight is far too common.

Here at the WMHI, we work with organisations from a whole range of different industries. From the public sector, through to private corporations and not for profits, and with people in engineering, finance, education, construction, mining, defence, IT, you name it!

In recent times, we’ve seen much more attention paid to the work of health professionals and those in caring roles.Along with that, we’ve also seen an increased awareness of the importance of the mental health and mental wellbeing of those health professionals themselves. After all, they are people too, and in order to be best able to serve and support their patients, they need to be well themselves.

We were recently asked about mental health and wellbeing for staff in the health & medical industry. Below is our response to three questions we were asked. I think you’ll find many of the ideas can be translated across to any industry. What do you think?

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Why is it so important for a workplace in the medical sector to be aware of the mental wellbeing of their staff, as well as their patients?

Staff in the health and medical sector, and caring professions in general, are well known to be at higher risks of stress, burnout, and mental health issues themselves.
Part of this is due to the nature of their work, where staff are often dealing with people in highly emotional contexts and also because of the long hours and shift work. Most people came to the sector because they care about people, and want to help, but without the right working conditions, skills and tools, they can often end up suffering ‘compassion fatigue’ where they simply become tired of caring. For some people this means, they become less effective at their jobs, no longer able to give the patient the emotional support, nor the bedside manner, that benefits the patient so well. For others, this can lead to frustration, angry outbursts, conflict within teams, and even an end to their employment in a particular role (either by choice or following an incident) and, at the more extreme end of the scale, suicide.
Another contributor to the increased stress amongst medical staff is that as a customer facing role, they are also many times subject to those people in the general public who may take out their fears, frustrations and anger on service providers. In the worst cases, this can escalate to outright aggression and abuse, where the medical staff are required to maintain their emotional maturity, stay calm and handle each situation appropriately and respectfully. That can be a tall order for someone who is already stressed.
These two elements combine with what is often a very busy working environment, with a high volume in terms of workload, time sensitive job tasks, and high stakes work, coupled with many legal obligations and consequences.

Do you have any advice for workplaces in the health industry, about a few ways that they can prioritise mental health for their practitioners?

Make mental health and mental wellbeing a part of the conversation and make people mental health aware from Day 1 of working in your clinic or practice. E.g., make it part of your induction training, share tips for staying calm under pressure, managing stress, and building resilience in your meetings or newsletters, put posters around the office.
Don’t wait for people to be stressed or develop mental health problems before doing something about it. Have conversations early, provide training in personal resilience, managing stress and compassion fatigue, and mental health.
Make sure the leader practices what they preach, use a strengths-based approach when interacting with their practitioners at all times.
Make sure the job demands are doable within the time frames provided. Don’t ask one person to do the work of three people with no extra time (or pay!) provided.
Make sure people have time during the day to get out of the practice, and get fresh air, sunshine, a bite to eat, stretch their legs and have a change of scenery. It does wonders for productivity as well as mental health.
Make an Employee Assistance Program or independent counselling available for staff and their family members, should they need a safe, private and confidential space to get further support.

What would your top 3 tips be for health practitioners to prioritise their mental health?

Yes! We have more than three tips:

Remember WHY you got into this profession and WHAT you love about it. Write it down and put it somewhere you can see often.
Practice your Self Care activities daily – encompassing the basics like good nutrition, movement, sleep, enjoyable hobbies, and also more advanced strategies like making daily gratitude lists, mindfulness or meditation practice,
Notice ways of talking to yourself that make you feel good, and ways you talk to yourself that make you feel bad. Then do more of the first and less of the second.
Every time you have a success, get a thank you, or positive feedback from a patient, capture it. Put it on a pinboard somewhere, or keep it in a file you can go to whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, disillusioned, or have had a difficult patient/procedure/day.
Make sure to keep talking. Debriefing with colleagues, friends or family members (while ensuring confidentiality is maintained) can be vital for maintaining a healthy perspective. And if you need to get more professional, objective help, reach out early. The sooner you get support, the quicker and easier it is to get back on track.

Author: Peter Diaz

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This article was first published on WorkLife eMag – The Fear Factor: Exploring the Psychology of Fear

How to Support Mental Health in the Workplace

29/07/2019

What you can now copy from the TOP companies like PWC and AMP on how they boost their employees’ Mental Health while improving Corporate Culture, Engagement and Profitability

Most management teams these days don’t need to be convinced that taking care of their team’s mental health is a good idea. But many managers don’t know where to start to support their employees. Here we show you what some top companies are doing in this important space, so you can copy and use what you need.

These companies recognise the importance of investing in their employees’ mental health.

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), mental health disorders affect nearly one in four people each year. Depression, anxiety, and other psychiatric disorders are among the top causes of disability worldwide.¹

Since people tend to spend most of their working life at work, it follows that mental health issues affect all areas of a person’s life, including work.

WHO estimates the global cost of depression and anxiety at more than $1.2 trillion per year in lost productivity.² Left untreated, depression and other issues can affect absenteeism, productivity, and put workers at an increased risk of suicide. In short, having a reactive (or non-existent) approach to supporting mental health at work is eating up massive amounts of profits in businesses everywhere.

Unfortunately, many people don’t get help for mental health problems. Most people won’t even tell their immediate boss that there’s a problem. Up to fifty percent of people will not disclose at work. And, even more concerning, two-thirds of people who have a mental disorder won’t seek any professional treatment. Some say that the very real fear of discrimination and stigma are two gigantic obstacles that prevent people from getting help.

Mental health has long been considered an off-limits topic in the workplace. Thankfully, smart business leaders are beginning to recognise the importance of helping their employees’ stay emotionally fit. Here are three ways that top companies put mental health and well-being first.

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They Teach Employees’ How To Help Struggling Co-Workers

Most people are not trained to comfortably or effectively talk to someone about their mental health, especially in the workplace. If you don’t know what you are doing, you could make matters worse. AMP, which is a global company and also one of Australia’s largest companies, helps their employees learn how to help co-workers struggling with mental health issues. The financial giant has implemented a training program, called Mental Health Essentials, that equips team members with the skills to recognise when a co-worker is struggling and to get that person appropriate help.³ To upskill their managers and executives they’ve also run the Workplace Mental Health Masterclass for Leaders. AMP has had this Masterclass training delivered all over Australia, the UK and the USA, with great results.

They Partner With Leading Mental Health Organisations And Don’t Try To Do It All Themselves

Another way that top companies help their employees is by collaborating with trusted mental health organisation’s. PWC, AMP and The Star Group partner with several well-known mental health groups, but in particular the Workplace Mental Health Institute. By working with leaders in mental health advocacy, support, and recovery, you too can learn how to proactively support your employees’ mental health, be better prepared organisationally to manage risk and safety, and be better equipped to help colleagues.³

They Promote A Culture Of Openness And Trust

A high level of stigma exists surrounding mental health issues. This is an ongoing problem. More than 40 percent of U.K employers believe that hiring a person with mental illness represents a significant risk to the company, according to a 2010 survey among employers. Workers with mental illness are seen as unreliable and hard to get along with.

These types of beliefs in the workplace can cause employees to be reluctant to get help. Workers who call in sick because of depression or anxiety may make up other reasons for their absence. They may believe that being honest will cause their employers to pass them over for job promotions.

This culture needs to change if employers want healthier, more productive employees. One Australian company that understands the importance of fostering an open culture when it comes to mental illness is EY. Ernst & Young has collated information of other companies that are doing well in this space and they report it’s important for companies to share knowledge and information with its managers, supervisors, and employees about mental illness. The company that does well promotes an open dialogue when it comes to talking about mental illness. According to EY, openness and proactive early intervention result in decreased mental-health related claims.

As an employer, there’s a lot that you can do to support your employees’ mental health. Try some of the things that the world’s top companies are doing to support workers’ mental health. You’ll see what a difference these changes can make to your organisation and your employees’ well-being.

References:

Author: Peter Diaz

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When being the boss’ favourite can hurt your career

04/07/2017

Machiavelli once ruminated on whether, as a leader, it was better to be loved or feared. While he concluded that it is “safer” to be feared than loved, as humans we crave community and recognition from those we respect or who are in a position of leadership.

Our natural instinct in the workplace is to try to curry favor with the boss so we can be influential in the decision making process, know that our ideas are heard first or bend the ear of our leader when promotion opportunities arise. While all of this might sound great for you personally, it can actually work to your detriment in very important ways.

Envy brings out the worst in people

When you are seen as the “chosen one” in the office, your teammates and coworkers will inevitably begin to envy you. While it may appear inconsequential at first, your proximity to your boss’s power may present some challenges in doing your job. Coworkers will gradually shut you out of important interpersonal office relationships. Even those who eschew workplace friendships recognise the need for connectedness in sharing crucial work-related information and team communication. If you are seen as the boss’s favorite, you may be left out of the loop, intentionally or not.

Hitching your wagon to your boss’s horse may work against you

Currying your boss’s favor is nice while it lasts. However, bosses who tend to play favorites are also fickle in their affection. You may be the heir apparent to their job one week and at the rear of the pack the next thanks to a manager’s changing whims or perceptions. It is also unwise to attach your merit within an organization to anyone else’s. Sure, your boss is influential today, but should they lose their position or credibility, you will likely lose yours as well unless you are associated with something other than your boss.

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You begin to lose your objectivity

The idea of “groupthink” was first introduced by Irving Janis in 1972. He theorised that groups who are insulated from outside opinions are subject to faulty reasoning, a deterioration of mental capacity and a lack of moral judgment. Whether that group consists of 2 or 20, the concept remains the same. The longer you spend in the shadow of your boss, the more likely you are to insulate yourself from the differing opinions of your coworkers. Without that difference, you lose the ability to make an objective decision. This, coupled with a growing sense of invulnerability inevitably leads to carelessness and negative consequences.

So what should you do instead?

As humans we tend to want to be recognised for our accomplishments. We want to feel as though we are in positions of power to affect change for the better. In order to do this without sacrificing personal integrity or career trajectory, it is important to act decisively and methodically in your relationship with your boss.

Honesty is the best policy. Do not oversell your influence with your peers or your boss. Give credit where credit is due. Never claim success that is not yours.
Honour the workplace team. As tempting as it may be to let favoritism work for you, remember that your work team is where the majority of your tasks are accomplished. If relationships are strained, productivity plummets and your credibility dwindles.
Be impeccable with your word. If something is shared in confidence with you by your boss, do not tell your coworkers until your boss shares the information. If something is shared in confidence by a teammate, do not tell your boss but rather encourage your coworker to build that relationship.
Get to know other executives. Many people who are seen as parrots of their boss can combat this by interacting with other executives and learning from their insights. While some bosses become paranoid about losing their sidekick, most will see your desire to learn as a way to leverage your talents with other areas of the organization.

As nice as it may be to have the favour of your manager, you might find that it leads to greater stress and career hindrance rather than help.

Author: Peter Diaz

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Hygge in the workplace

04/04/2017

You may or may not be aware of the ‘Hygge movement’ that is happening globally at the moment. I’ve been asked to speak on this on a number of separate occasions over the last few months, so it seems it is a topic of some interest to many people out there, and it has particular relevant to workplace wellbeing. So here are the top 10 questions people have asked me about Hygge:

Firstly, what is Hygge?

Hygge is a Danish word which most closely translates to ‘cosy’. It has been defined as ‘the appreciation of cosiness and the nice things in life’. The Danish love their cosiness!

In the space of mental health and wellbeing, Hygge offers yet another way in which people can take care of themselves and their wellbeing – whether or not they have been diagnosed with a mental health problem or not. A hygge lifestyle is a lifestyle that is aware of your own wellbeing and how you are relating to life in general.

Why do you think hygge has become popular now?

As a society we’ve never had it so good financially and materially, so we are looking more at the existential questions of happiness, fulfillment and wellbeing, as opposed to mere survival.

Our world is going through very exciting times. It also means that the rate of change we are seeing is, in many ways, unprecedented. As people, we have a desire for both excitement and security/safety. We want enough change to make things interesting, but too much change will make us feel unsafe. If we add to change the constant flood of information we are subjected to, it’s no wonder people are looking for some reprieve. I think Hygge is one method of many that can provide people with the comfort of slowing things down a little.

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So how does Hygge help mental health and wellbeing? What’s the research?

Anything that helps busy, stressed, overworked or overwhelmed people slow down and take note of what’s nice & cosy in their lives can have a powerfully healthy and positive effect in people’s lives. While I’m not aware of any direct studies on Hygge it’s important to remember that Hygge has elements of well researched benefits like ‘slowing down and take note’. Or in other words it’s very similar, if not the same, as some of the core processes of mindfulness, and that has been shown in research to be extremely beneficial and have antidepressant effects. And ‘appreciating the nice things in life’, or gratitude, has also been studied extensively within Positive Psychology, elements we cover in our Resilience course and found to have not just anti-anxiety and antidepressant effects, but also to build the neural pathways that make it harder to experience negativity and easier to experience positivity.

What innate human needs are people trying to address through the concept of hygge?

We have an innate need for comfort and protection. In the old experiments on baby monkeys (we wouldn’t do it nowadays), they took them away from their mothers and gave them two options – a metal, mechanical device that gave them food, or a metal mechanical device covered in soft cloth that gave them comfort but not food. The monkeys opted for comfort over food every time.

I believe Hygge helps people address their needs for closeness and love, and also for safety and certainty. But, it’s important to understand that Hygge is not the only tool that helps people do this.

In your experience how do people feel when they adopt a hygge approach to life?

All in all, the return to simplicity & connecting that Hygge encourages helps people get a greater enjoyment of life. It can have the effect of reconnecting people with life, connecting them with others, and making time for their relationships. It can help bring more joy to people’s lives and protect them from turning everyday pressures into stress. After all, we are social creatures. We need that connection in order to thrive.

These simple activities, like lighting candles, sitting by a fire, are things which can, and often do, slow down time for the person. It brings them into this time and space. That’s very useful for caring for your psychological health. If you do this exercise with a loved one, it can help reconnect with that person on a regular basis, thus creating a sense of closeness and love – very important and basic needs for us too!

What’s the most important thing to do/be aware of in making Hygge work for you?

Hygge is more an attitude, an approach to life that leads to appreciation of the little things and respecting your own way of doing things. In that sense, your Hygge will be very different to my Hygge, but that’s ok, as long as it’s leading me to really connect with the inner appreciation of the little things. So even though Hygge is an approach, a philosophy as such, the little practices you do every day are what is going to bring a deep inner shift and joy.

What are the barriers that people may face in adopting Hygge practices? How would these be overcome?

One of the challenges for people in our societies today is simplification. It’s a common pitfall for people to try to apply something as simple and natural as Hygge and make a To Do list out of it. The moment that you put Hygge as a to-do for your life, then it has the danger of becoming a source of tension instead of one of release and connection. Make sure you practice, but don’t turn Hygge into a ‘new belief system’ of sorts. Enjoy it. Have fun with it. But don’t become obsessed with it. That would not be Hygge.

In a workplace setting, how Hygge can be adopted?

Some ways workplaces can adopt Hygge are by paying attention to the physical environments they create, making them ‘human friendly’. Managers can be really useful here and take the lead. But, remember a ‘human friendly’ office will be determined by the people that are going to use it, not by the boss.

For example, I like nice clean, minimalist office spaces, with no distractions, but I have colleagues who love to decorate their working space, with pictures, poems, etc to really make it their own cosy space. So Hygge is partly finding what really works for each staff member to get that sense of peace and safety, and doing that.

Have desks for people that love desks but have relaxing couches or chairs for people that love working in a more ‘relaxed’ way. Make sure this is encouraged. Have natural light. Make sure people take breaks and move. Encourage small chit chat.

Another way is for managers to encourage their teams to recognise the small things they are grateful for each day in their workplace – whether it was that the coffee machine got fixed, or what a lovely walk they had into the office that day, or a smile and a pleasant conversation with a colleague. Too often our focus is always on ‘what’s next’, instead of appreciating the good at work, and enjoying the time spent there. After all, we do spend a lot of our lives at work. And the research is overwhelmingly clear that when we are comfortable and enjoying it we will produce more.

Are there any cons to the concept of hygge?

There are cons to everything. For example, if you use Hygge to escape from deep problems that need your attention, then that’s not a good use of Hygge. Hygge doesn’t fix things, it just helps you create some needed rest for you psyche so you can deal with the more important things after. If you don’t take your refreshed mental state and use it to come up with better ways to live life, then Hygge has been wasted.
Another thing to be cautious of is that sometimes in order to achieve something big, we need to stretch outside of our comfort zone. Living in all comfort is neither natural nor good for you. We need to stretch beyond our comfort. Think about this, possibly everything great you have in your life it is because you did something that was a little outside the comfort zone – whether it was going to the job interview for that great role, or asking your now wife out on a date. If we are not balanced in our approach we don’t achieve anything. But right now, I think we’re out of balance the other way. People are feeling over-stretched and a little hyggee brings it back into balance.

What is your response to critics who believe it’s a superficial concept that represses and ignores the dark stuff of life?

I think it’s a little harsh. Where good mental health is concerned, we need to have a time for everything. A time for focusing and addressing the dark stuff in life and a time to have a welcome break to recharge our batteries, as it were. I think Hygge, if it’s your thing, can help you do that. Of course, I’d invite you to look into more tools than just Hygge. In our Building Resilience At Work course, a course for workplaces, we teach workers and managers over 12 different powerful tools to help your psyche have a break and for people to get mastery over their emotional selves. A real smorgasbord of choice. Why so many? so you can chose what you want, according to your own liking and personality.

Author: Peter Diaz

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Office Rage: Handling Anger in the Workplace

16/12/2016

Anger. Everyone feels it at some stage in their lives. Putting a person – any person – in the pressure cooker that is the work place for a period of time and they are guaranteed to get angry at some point. That includes you, the manager, as well. A strong leader knows how to identify anger within themselves and others and knows what steps to take in order to rectify the situation.

As mentioned, there are two types of anger in the work place: yours and that of your people, each with their own two separate sub-types, overt and covert anger. Overt anger is visible and easy to spot, both within yourself and your people. It is out in the open, most likely used in a confrontation.

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Covert anger is the anger that nobody was able to spot in time and became overt anger. This is the one to look out for. It is annoyance, irritation or passive aggression. Feelings we have all been told not to show, to grin and bear, to the point where sometimes, we don’t even notice they are there. But, they still manifest in a variety of different ways:

- Procrastination
- Perpetual or habitual lateness
- A liking for sadistic or ironic humour
- Sarcasm or cynicism
- Frequent sighing
- Clenching of fists or jaws
- Facial tics
- Passive aggressiveness

If you’ve noticed any of these within a member of your team, you will want to subtly investigate the cause so you can decide what to do next.

The best way to approach this is by being casual. Instead of pulling the person into your office for a chat, which may only exacerbate the situation, align your lunch with theirs, ask them about their day, their lives. Allow them to open up to you. If it is an issue at work, work with them to address it.

If it is an issue at home, be patient with them and allow them time to sort it out, and of course, offer your support if you can and it is appropriate. For anybody, having a manager that they can confide in and is understanding is of great comfort. It makes it much easier for them to “leave it at the door.”

And the same applies to you, the manager too. If you notice these feelings or signs, talk to someone about them, even if it is a member of your staff (showing that you trust them helps build their trust in you). It is important not to let this anger bubble under the surface, because it will eventually explode and either you or a member of your staff to will find themselves in a very compromising situation.

All overt anger was once covert anger. However, the length of time it has been bubbling under the surface can vary. It can be built up over weeks or months, or it can boil over in a matter of minutes. If confronted with this sort of anger in a member of your staff, it is important to remove them from the situation immediately. Again, taking them to the intimidating confines of your office for a chat has potential to make matters worse, therefore, it is best to take them for a walk or a coffee and talk to them calmly about what is making them feel this way.

Getting angry yourself will only make matters worse.

It is important to be a calming influence. Again, this is done by showing patience and care. Having a calm, rational and friendly chat with the employee will allow them to open up and tell you their grievances in order for you to help resolve them.

If you find these feelings boiling over within yourself, it is important to remove yourself from the situation, compose and control yourself and let the initial anger dissipate before you confront the source. This is especially important if the source of your anger is a member of your team. Taking a breather, whether it be for 5 minutes or leaving it for the next day is invaluable as it will allow you to confront the situation calmly, rationally and maturely – ensuring you don’t hurt or break the trust and respect you have worked hard to build with your team.

Author: Peter Diaz

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Tag Archives: Mental Health Strategy

It’s Not Just Venting

How It Shows Up

Why It Can Be a Problem — Especially at Work

A Better Way to Share

If You’ve Done It Before — It’s Okay

Final Thought

What’s Driving the Trend?

The Mental Health Connection

What Can Employers Do?

A Shift in Perspective

What is Social Media Addiction?

Did you check our Mental Health Courses?

How Public Platforms Affect the Brain

The Signs and Symptoms of Social Media Addiction

The Signs of Social Media Addiction

Sharing Every Activity, you Undertake Anytime

Knowing a lot of Social Media Information about People who you have little information on them in the Real World

Preparing Recipes and Cooking Clips to Share on Social Media Platforms

Feeling Uncomfortable when you Fail to Access your Phone

Unhappiness Caused from Comparing Yourself with Social Media Personas

The Symptoms of Social Media Addiction

The Plausible Ways for Breaking Social Media Addiction

Illness and Antisocial Behaviors Associated with Social Media

How to Use Social Media Safely

Learn to live in the Moment

Follow Feeds that Brings you Gratification

Avoid Making Comparisons with Online Personas

Always Filter your Content Before Posting

Conclusion

Protecting Yourself from the Expert Manipulation of Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Other Difficult People

What, Exactly, is Manipulation?

The Different Types of Manipulators (And Why They Do It)

Identifying the Obvious (and Not So Obvious) Signs Of Manipulation

Things Don’t ‘Add Up.’

You Start To Question or Doubt Yourself

Something Feels Off (Your ‘Gut’ Is Telling You To Be Careful)

Understand the Common Manipulation Strategies

Initial Grooming and Creating Trust

Playing Your Emotions With a Sad Story

Foot in the Door

Separating You From Those Who Love and Care About You

Praise or Putting You Up On a Pedestal

Ridicule and Sarcasm

Twisting the Facts

Reciprocity & Guilt

Fear, Threats and Intimidation

Wearing you Down

How to Protect Yourself

Mental Health And Wellbeing Tips For Health Professionals (and everyone else too!)

Why is it so important for a workplace in the medical sector to be aware of the mental wellbeing of their staff, as well as their patients?

Do you have any advice for workplaces in the health industry, about a few ways that they can prioritise mental health for their practitioners?

What would your top 3 tips be for health practitioners to prioritise their mental health?

What you can now copy from the TOP companies like PWC and AMP on how they boost their employees’ Mental Health while improving Corporate Culture, Engagement and Profitability

These companies recognise the importance of investing in their employees’ mental health.

They Teach Employees’ How To Help Struggling Co-Workers

They Partner With Leading Mental Health Organisations And Don’t Try To Do It All Themselves

They Promote A Culture Of Openness And Trust