I remember like it was yesterday the moment I decided I was going to recover.
I looked in the bathroom mirror and I had one of those moments of clarity and in that moment I realised I had been a people pleaser, and that my life, was not my life. A rage built up within me and I yelled (at my own reflection) ‘what the F*&k are you doing?’. That pivotal moment changed my life. I crawled myself out of that hole I was in. I used the anger as leverage. And pulled myself out. I started using the resources available to me. More importantly, I started to see the options and resources available to me, that I had never noticed before.
In short, I took responsibility for my feelings.
No, this was not an overnight thing and I have made many mistakes in this journey, but I was, and still remain, determined to live my life by my standards. It’s been an arduous journey to say the least but it’s been a worthwhile one.
Interestingly, the research on Recovery shows that my moment is a fairly common one. A lot of people who recover have had a moment like that. My tip? Don’t be afraid of a little anger and of making mistakes. Or even more scary, that the people you have around you now will not love you anymore if you change. The price of not changing is too high. Don’t pay it. Move towards recovery and freedom.